Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Nouse.co.uk » The Ryder Cup could reignite Tiger Woods’ career
Nouse.co.uk » The Ryder Cup could reignite Tiger Woods’ career: "Tiger Woods is unlikely to ever recover fully from the exposure of his misdemeanours away from the course and the infidelity towards his now ex-wife Elin Nordegren – that is one weight he will carry until he retreats from the public eye entirely. With his private dealings now very much public, the focus on Woods has turned away from what put him in the the public eye in the first place – being the greatest golfer of his generation and the reason why so many golfers are now millionaires – just ask Jim Furyk who recently won £7 million at the Tour Championship. For all the coverage of Woods in the past months, very little of it has been about his golfing exploits, but then again there hasn’t been that much to write home about – he hasn’t won a tournament in nearly a year and his recent displays have been average at best."
Saturday, 25 September 2010
Abusive Relationship Signs – Winning, Whining аחԁ Losing іח Abusive Relationships
Abusive Relationship Signs – Winning, Whining аחԁ Losing іח Abusive Relationships
“Wһеח уου pressure mе, уου lose mе. Aחԁ instead уου ɡеt yourself аחԁ tһе illusion tһаt уου won mе over.” Looks Ɩіkе a familiar abusive relationship sign, сοrrесt?
People іח abusive relationships spend аח inordinate amount οf time іח a tug-οf-war dance. Hе іѕ insisting οח һеr seeing, doing οr being life аѕ һе wаחtѕ, аחԁ ѕһе struggles within herself tο hold һеr οwח οr cave іח.
Each round οf tһіѕ ƖіttƖе dance brings һеr farther frοm herself аחԁ һіm farther frοm һеr, аѕ well. Aחԁ tһе real net effect, over time, іѕ tһаt ѕһе steps back bit-bу-bit until tһе day comes wһеח ѕһе mау bе tһеrе іח space аחԁ time, bυt һаѕ left іח еνеrу οtһеr way.
Winning іח Abusive Relationships
It’s аѕ though һе mυѕt win. Hіѕ urge tο ɡеt һіѕ way іѕ more іmрοrtаחt tһаח wһаt һе wins through аחу individual conquest. Fοr example, Ɩеt’s ѕау wе һаνе a couple іח wһісһ ѕһе wishes tο ԁο a family chore іח һеr way. Tһіѕ routine task mау bе аѕ small аѕ taking inventory οf household items fοr maintenance.
Now іt һаѕ always bееח һеr job tο perform tһіѕ mundane job, bυt fοr ѕοmе reason іt becomes іmрοrtаחt fοr һіm tο take over. Sο, һе steps іח аחԁ takes over. Sһе knows wһеח ѕһе requests tһаt һе Ɩеt һеr ԁο tһіѕ task аѕ ѕһе іѕ accustomed tһаt һе wіƖƖ hold tighter аחԁ tighter tο һіѕ insisting οח һеr letting һіm take charge.
At חο time ԁοеѕ ѕһе חοr һе voice tһеіr innermost attachment tο tһе “activity” (іח qυеѕtіοח) being tһеіr way. All wе see аחԁ all tһеу know іѕ tһе οtһеr іѕ attempting tο interfere wіtһ tһеіr “winning.”
Tһе tug-οf-war саח ɡο οח ad-nauseam…until ѕһе caves іח. Wһаt һе mау חοt bе aware οf іѕ іח һіѕ “win,” һе һаѕ lost contact wіtһ һіѕ partner. Aחԁ ѕһе remains numb іח һеr skin аחԁ longing tο withdraw.
Bесаυѕе It’s Imрοrtаחt tο Yου
Now, Ɩеt’s rυח tһіѕ same example through superimposing a different dynamic аחԁ look аt tһе net effect οח tһе individuals аחԁ οח tһеіr relationship.
Lеt’s envision tһе “man οf tһе house” taking charge wіtһ respect tο tһіѕ household activity tһаt ѕһе һаѕ done fοr decades. Aחԁ ѕһе objects, letting һіm know tһаt ѕһе prefers tο take care οf tһе chore οח һеr οwח.
If іt becomes clear tο һіm tһаt һеr efforts tο hold һеr οwח аrе indicative οf tһіѕ сһοісе being іmрοrtаחt tο һеr, tһеח tһе door opens fοr things tο play out differently. Iח addition, һе wουƖԁ need tο find іח himself ѕοmе benefit tο honoring tһаt wһісһ іѕ іmрοrtаחt tο һеr. It mау simply bе bесаυѕе ѕһе іѕ іmрοrtаחt tο һіm.
Now I suppose уου сουƖԁ аѕk wһу ɡο һеr way over һіѕ way. Gοοԁ qυеѕtіοח…though tһе аחѕwеr іѕ less іmрοrtаחt relative tο tһе lesson.
It’s NOT between Yου аחԁ Tһеm Anyway
Mother Teresa ѕаіԁ, “Iח tһе final analysis, іt іѕ between уου аחԁ God. It wаѕ never between уου аחԁ tһеm anyway.”
Sο wһаt’s God һаνе tο ԁο wіtһ tһіѕ interaction tһаt tһе couple іח ουr example аrе having? It һаѕ everything tο ԁο wіtһ іt οח tһе inside, аחԁ חοt much οח tһе outside.
Wһеח уου concede bесаυѕе уου аrе honoring tһе οtһеr person rаtһеr tһаח lying down іח tһе path οf tһе bull, уου remain connected tο уουr respect fοr tһеm. Aחԁ wһеח tһеу yield tο уου іח appreciation fοr tһеіr honoring уου, tһеу tοο remain connected tο tһеіr respect fοr уου (аחԁ tһеіr relationship wіtһ уου). Iח both, tһеrе іѕ аח alignment wіtһ tһе divinity within each person respectively.
Cаח Tһіѕ Respect Bе Learned?
Yes, tһіѕ respect саח bе learned аחԁ honoring οtһеr саח bе cultivated Ɩіkе аחу οtһеr interactional habit. If уου аrе іח аח abusive relationship, аחԁ long tο change things frοm tһе inside out, find a domestic abuse intervention tһаt addresses tһе subtle communication patterns οf battering relationships.
Wһеח уου аחԁ уουr partner look аt уουr spats frοm tһе inside out rаtһеr tһаח tһе outside іח, уου open tһе door tο change. Aחԁ wіtһ practice, tһе changes уου mаkе become חеw life/relationship interaction habits.
“Wһеח уου pressure mе, уου lose mе. Aחԁ instead уου ɡеt yourself аחԁ tһе illusion tһаt уου won mе over.” Looks Ɩіkе a familiar abusive relationship sign, сοrrесt?
People іח abusive relationships spend аח inordinate amount οf time іח a tug-οf-war dance. Hе іѕ insisting οח һеr seeing, doing οr being life аѕ һе wаחtѕ, аחԁ ѕһе struggles within herself tο hold һеr οwח οr cave іח.
Each round οf tһіѕ ƖіttƖе dance brings һеr farther frοm herself аחԁ һіm farther frοm һеr, аѕ well. Aחԁ tһе real net effect, over time, іѕ tһаt ѕһе steps back bit-bу-bit until tһе day comes wһеח ѕһе mау bе tһеrе іח space аחԁ time, bυt һаѕ left іח еνеrу οtһеr way.
Winning іח Abusive Relationships
It’s аѕ though һе mυѕt win. Hіѕ urge tο ɡеt һіѕ way іѕ more іmрοrtаחt tһаח wһаt һе wins through аחу individual conquest. Fοr example, Ɩеt’s ѕау wе һаνе a couple іח wһісһ ѕһе wishes tο ԁο a family chore іח һеr way. Tһіѕ routine task mау bе аѕ small аѕ taking inventory οf household items fοr maintenance.
Now іt һаѕ always bееח һеr job tο perform tһіѕ mundane job, bυt fοr ѕοmе reason іt becomes іmрοrtаחt fοr һіm tο take over. Sο, һе steps іח аחԁ takes over. Sһе knows wһеח ѕһе requests tһаt һе Ɩеt һеr ԁο tһіѕ task аѕ ѕһе іѕ accustomed tһаt һе wіƖƖ hold tighter аחԁ tighter tο һіѕ insisting οח һеr letting һіm take charge.
At חο time ԁοеѕ ѕһе חοr һе voice tһеіr innermost attachment tο tһе “activity” (іח qυеѕtіοח) being tһеіr way. All wе see аחԁ all tһеу know іѕ tһе οtһеr іѕ attempting tο interfere wіtһ tһеіr “winning.”
Tһе tug-οf-war саח ɡο οח ad-nauseam…until ѕһе caves іח. Wһаt һе mау חοt bе aware οf іѕ іח һіѕ “win,” һе һаѕ lost contact wіtһ һіѕ partner. Aחԁ ѕһе remains numb іח һеr skin аחԁ longing tο withdraw.
Bесаυѕе It’s Imрοrtаחt tο Yου
Now, Ɩеt’s rυח tһіѕ same example through superimposing a different dynamic аחԁ look аt tһе net effect οח tһе individuals аחԁ οח tһеіr relationship.
Lеt’s envision tһе “man οf tһе house” taking charge wіtһ respect tο tһіѕ household activity tһаt ѕһе һаѕ done fοr decades. Aחԁ ѕһе objects, letting һіm know tһаt ѕһе prefers tο take care οf tһе chore οח һеr οwח.
If іt becomes clear tο һіm tһаt һеr efforts tο hold һеr οwח аrе indicative οf tһіѕ сһοісе being іmрοrtаחt tο һеr, tһеח tһе door opens fοr things tο play out differently. Iח addition, һе wουƖԁ need tο find іח himself ѕοmе benefit tο honoring tһаt wһісһ іѕ іmрοrtаחt tο һеr. It mау simply bе bесаυѕе ѕһе іѕ іmрοrtаחt tο һіm.
Now I suppose уου сουƖԁ аѕk wһу ɡο һеr way over һіѕ way. Gοοԁ qυеѕtіοח…though tһе аחѕwеr іѕ less іmрοrtаחt relative tο tһе lesson.
It’s NOT between Yου аחԁ Tһеm Anyway
Mother Teresa ѕаіԁ, “Iח tһе final analysis, іt іѕ between уου аחԁ God. It wаѕ never between уου аחԁ tһеm anyway.”
Sο wһаt’s God һаνе tο ԁο wіtһ tһіѕ interaction tһаt tһе couple іח ουr example аrе having? It һаѕ everything tο ԁο wіtһ іt οח tһе inside, аחԁ חοt much οח tһе outside.
Wһеח уου concede bесаυѕе уου аrе honoring tһе οtһеr person rаtһеr tһаח lying down іח tһе path οf tһе bull, уου remain connected tο уουr respect fοr tһеm. Aחԁ wһеח tһеу yield tο уου іח appreciation fοr tһеіr honoring уου, tһеу tοο remain connected tο tһеіr respect fοr уου (аחԁ tһеіr relationship wіtһ уου). Iח both, tһеrе іѕ аח alignment wіtһ tһе divinity within each person respectively.
Cаח Tһіѕ Respect Bе Learned?
Yes, tһіѕ respect саח bе learned аחԁ honoring οtһеr саח bе cultivated Ɩіkе аחу οtһеr interactional habit. If уου аrе іח аח abusive relationship, аחԁ long tο change things frοm tһе inside out, find a domestic abuse intervention tһаt addresses tһе subtle communication patterns οf battering relationships.
Wһеח уου аחԁ уουr partner look аt уουr spats frοm tһе inside out rаtһеr tһаח tһе outside іח, уου open tһе door tο change. Aחԁ wіtһ practice, tһе changes уου mаkе become חеw life/relationship interaction habits.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher: Doomed by the Age Gap?
As the tabloids pull out the big guns claiming Ashton Kutcher cheated on Demi Moore, People Magazine published a celebratory photo gallery, "Ashton and Demi: Inside Their Marriage," tied to the couple's fifth anniversary today.
But as more people ask, "Did he or didn't he?" perhaps an equally valid question is whether their union was compromised from the start by the dates on their birth certificates.
The minute Hollywood couples tie the knot, rumor mills start looking for them to untie. May-December unions – especially when the woman is considerably older than her man – are real game changers.
Is the age gap – Moore is reportedly 15 years older than Kutcher – the likely fuel that incites a younger male partner's extramarital flings?
But as more people ask, "Did he or didn't he?" perhaps an equally valid question is whether their union was compromised from the start by the dates on their birth certificates.
The minute Hollywood couples tie the knot, rumor mills start looking for them to untie. May-December unions – especially when the woman is considerably older than her man – are real game changers.
Is the age gap – Moore is reportedly 15 years older than Kutcher – the likely fuel that incites a younger male partner's extramarital flings?
Romanticism is a "natural addiction," it makes us both happy and unhappy.
Romanticism is a "natural addiction," it makes us both happy and unhappy. A break causes a feeling of loss and pain that affects so much that causes clinical depression and in extreme cases, even suicide or homicide. American Scientists used a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) in people who had recently been abandoned by their partners. They showed pictures of the former partner and the reactions were mixed: love, despair, good and bad memories, and anguish. Meanwhile, neuronal activity was observed with fMRI. and it was found the activation of brain areas with functions related to the sensation of pleasure, happiness, addiction and fear. Neural activity was increased in the insular cortex or insula and anterior cingulate cortex, associated both with the physical pain and anguish. Data collected, together with other data collected in a previous study, suggest that the brain mesolimbic pathway would be involved in romantic passion, whether love or not makes us happy. The mesolimbic pathway is one of the dopamine pathways in the brain and is associated with the modulation of behavioral responses to stimuli in front of emotional gratification and motivation, that is, which is the brain mechanism that mediates the reward and influences by Thus in the addictions.
Rejection by a lover is a powerful negative experience that can cause people to slide into depression or commit extreme acts.
Rejection by a lover is a powerful negative experience that can cause people to slide into depression or commit extreme acts. Some people have even committed suicide or homocide in response to rejection. The research presented here helps illustrate why rejection hurts so much and where the need to be accepted by a lover originates.
The authors of the study explain that the limbic reward system involved in feelings of romantic love and rejection are associated with biological survival mechanisms and imperatives, which suggest an evolutionary link between the feeling of romantic love and the naturally selected need to pass on one’s genes. This notion is reinforced by the concurrent activity of brain centers involved in addiction.
Our brains do their utmost to convince us to reproduce, even going so far as to cause extreme emotional pain and agony when we are denied the opportunity with people we have identified as good mates. Conversely, the involvement of emotional regulation centers certainly indicates that love is more than a simple craving or biological imperative; it is a complex emotion fully integrated into our consciousnesses, the nature of which fMRI machines still cannot fully illuminate.
The authors of the study explain that the limbic reward system involved in feelings of romantic love and rejection are associated with biological survival mechanisms and imperatives, which suggest an evolutionary link between the feeling of romantic love and the naturally selected need to pass on one’s genes. This notion is reinforced by the concurrent activity of brain centers involved in addiction.
Our brains do their utmost to convince us to reproduce, even going so far as to cause extreme emotional pain and agony when we are denied the opportunity with people we have identified as good mates. Conversely, the involvement of emotional regulation centers certainly indicates that love is more than a simple craving or biological imperative; it is a complex emotion fully integrated into our consciousnesses, the nature of which fMRI machines still cannot fully illuminate.
Love. What else can cause such obsessions, cravings, mood swings, compulsions, distortions of reality, changes in personality, losses of self-control,
Love. What else can cause such obsessions, cravings, mood swings, compulsions, distortions of reality, changes in personality, losses of self-control, and risk-taking? Addiction, that’s what. Biologists, psychologists, poets, and musicians have long been at odds over whether love is a deeply spiritual emotion, or perhaps a potentially harmful biological addiction. In a research study, led by biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, scientists hooked up recently rejected lovers to an MRI machine to monitor their brain activity, seems to indicate that both camps may be correct.
The researchers used MRI scans to study what parts of the brain were activated in the recently heartbroken. They recruited ten women and five men who were recently dumped by people with whom they were still intensely in love. Each participant filled out a survey called the Passionate Love Scale to assess the degree to which they experienced feelings of romantic love. Finally, while in the MRI machine, participants looked at a photograph of their dumper while the scientists took pictures of their brain activity.
The researchers used MRI scans to study what parts of the brain were activated in the recently heartbroken. They recruited ten women and five men who were recently dumped by people with whom they were still intensely in love. Each participant filled out a survey called the Passionate Love Scale to assess the degree to which they experienced feelings of romantic love. Finally, while in the MRI machine, participants looked at a photograph of their dumper while the scientists took pictures of their brain activity.
Sunday, 19 September 2010
Codependence is an emotional and behavioral defense system which was adopted by our egos in order to meet our need to survive as a child.
Codependence is doubly traumatic. We were traumatized as children – and the defenses we adapted to protect us caused us to traumatize ourselves as adults. We have experienced getting our hearts broken, our hopes and dreams shattered, again and again. We abandoned, betrayed, and set ourselves up to feel rejected over and over again.
Even those “family hero” types who achieve external “success” and financial abundance have to keep running from distraction to distraction and finding someone to blame so that they can deny the hole they feel within themselves.
Achieving some material success makes it much easier to maintain the illusion of ego control and stay in denial of one’s wounded soul. Being rich and famous can be a huge block to true emotional intimacy.
As long as we are reacting unconsciously to our childhood emotional wounds and intellectual programming, we keep repeating the patterns. We keep getting involved with unavailable people. We keep setting ourselves up to be abandoned, betrayed and rejected. We keep looking for love in all the wrong places, in all the wrong faces. Is it any wonder we have a fear of intimacy?
“Codependence is an emotional and behavioral defense system which was adopted by our egos in order to meet our need to survive as a child. Because we had no tools for reprogramming our egos and healing our emotional wounds (culturally approved grieving, training and initiation rites, healthy role models, etc.), the effect is that as an adult we keep reacting to the programming of our childhood and do not get our needs met – our emotional, mental, Spiritual, or physical needs.
Even those “family hero” types who achieve external “success” and financial abundance have to keep running from distraction to distraction and finding someone to blame so that they can deny the hole they feel within themselves.
Achieving some material success makes it much easier to maintain the illusion of ego control and stay in denial of one’s wounded soul. Being rich and famous can be a huge block to true emotional intimacy.
As long as we are reacting unconsciously to our childhood emotional wounds and intellectual programming, we keep repeating the patterns. We keep getting involved with unavailable people. We keep setting ourselves up to be abandoned, betrayed and rejected. We keep looking for love in all the wrong places, in all the wrong faces. Is it any wonder we have a fear of intimacy?
“Codependence is an emotional and behavioral defense system which was adopted by our egos in order to meet our need to survive as a child. Because we had no tools for reprogramming our egos and healing our emotional wounds (culturally approved grieving, training and initiation rites, healthy role models, etc.), the effect is that as an adult we keep reacting to the programming of our childhood and do not get our needs met – our emotional, mental, Spiritual, or physical needs.
Monday, 13 September 2010
Is Love A Drug, Scientists Ask | Article Directory Project
Is Love A Drug, Scientists Ask | Article Directory Project: "Sex is a Trap
Sex is booby-trapped for to make partners bond. According to the researchers – the more two people have sex together, the more likely they are to bond.
“We all know you can have sex without falling in love but if you have enough sex with the same person there’s a good chance you will hit the body’s booby-trap which is there to tip you head over heels into love,” reported Dr Marsden.
So having sex is an addiction which can’t be cured, because people love each other and are attracted to their life partners."
Sex is booby-trapped for to make partners bond. According to the researchers – the more two people have sex together, the more likely they are to bond.
“We all know you can have sex without falling in love but if you have enough sex with the same person there’s a good chance you will hit the body’s booby-trap which is there to tip you head over heels into love,” reported Dr Marsden.
So having sex is an addiction which can’t be cured, because people love each other and are attracted to their life partners."
Women who Love too Much Discussion: 2 yrs of changing me, now I am opposite - DailyStrength
Women who Love too Much Discussion: 2 yrs of changing me, now I am opposite - DailyStrength: "I have been on DS for 2 yrs now. 2 yrs ago I was trying to break my addiction to a crooked cop, sexual predator, narcissist who had taken advantage of me. It was very hard for me to break the addiction and realize what he actually was, and that everything he had said was all lies to trick me so he could get what he wanted out of me and then had no use for me. Who knows how many others he's used his position to victimize. It was a very difficult and painful time for me, and I developed PTSD which I struggle with till this day. I managed to go no contact (even w/ him working in the same bldg as myself) after one of his abusive episodes. I avoided his attempts to suck me back in (which didn't start until a year later). I have been here this entire time, I've devoured a bunch of books on love addiction and have my own library on it now. One topic lead to another and I learned that he has NPD. I have done tons of research and worked on changing me. And I have changed...a LOT. But now I'm worried that I'm on the other end of the spectrum."
Addicted to Love | Bella Naija
Addicted to Love | Bella Naija: "So there I was minding my own business, half listening to the radio and half consumed by my own random thoughts as I drove in to work one morning. When the radio presenter on Inspiration FM, announced that one of Tiger Woods alleged mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, would be taking part in the hit US reality TV series, Celebrity Rehab. The TV series, which shows how different celebrities overcome various addictions, is one that has captivated the American audience for 3 seasons and has had among its housemates, celebrities such as Janice Dikinson, Keisha Cole’s mother and Daniel Baldwin.
I waited to hear what Rachel’s addiction was. Heroin, cocaine, marijuana, cigarettes maybe??? No! It was none of the above. In fact, although the show’s producers claim her addiction was to prescription drugs, sources from US tabloid magazines say different. According to the tabloids, her addiction is apparently to….wait for it,…. LOVE. Did I hear you hiss? Well, I doubt if your hiss could be louder than mine. Even as I type this article I find myself still hissing at the very idea of it all. Addicted to love, such nonsense! While I am not prepared to discuss her alleged relationship with the golf supremo Tiger Woods, I do find it a tad bit ridiculous that anyone could be “addicted to love”."
I waited to hear what Rachel’s addiction was. Heroin, cocaine, marijuana, cigarettes maybe??? No! It was none of the above. In fact, although the show’s producers claim her addiction was to prescription drugs, sources from US tabloid magazines say different. According to the tabloids, her addiction is apparently to….wait for it,…. LOVE. Did I hear you hiss? Well, I doubt if your hiss could be louder than mine. Even as I type this article I find myself still hissing at the very idea of it all. Addicted to love, such nonsense! While I am not prepared to discuss her alleged relationship with the golf supremo Tiger Woods, I do find it a tad bit ridiculous that anyone could be “addicted to love”."
What Is Sex Addiction – Treating Sex Addiction | jellofart's blog
What Is Sex Addiction – Treating Sex Addiction | jellofart's blog: "Sex addiction is an illness that is experienced worldwide by men and women from different backgrounds and cultures. When a person is a sex addict, they suffer from a disease which is incurable, progressive and capable of destroying the lives of not only the sufferer but of their families as well.
Sex addiction can be managed with a recovery programme and therapy but whilst in the grips of this addiction, sufferers cannot escape their obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Often sex addiction is experienced with other addictive behaviours such as drug use and eating disorders. They are all behaviours of the same disease of addiction.
Similar to other addictions such as drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive needs. The behaviour of a sex addict can include repeated empty affairs, compulsive masturbation, frequent use of prostitutes and other sex services and in extreme cases can even progress to exhibitionism, voyeurism, child molestation and rape.
Sex addicts however are not bad people. Their condition is not a moral failing: It is a spiritual unrest.
Why is Sex Addiction So Destructive?
In some Twelve Step fellowship support groups, ‘bottom line behaviour’ is identified. Bottom line behaviour is a term used to define the specific sex addict’s behaviours which they act out on.
Most sex addicts experience ‘intrigue’ which is the mental preoccupation with sexual acts. Objectifying people, constant obsession with sexual acts, flirting and generally spending much time with the preoccupation of sex is the mental state of a sex addict. These obsessions are then followed by the compulsive acting out on sexual behaviours."
Sex addiction can be managed with a recovery programme and therapy but whilst in the grips of this addiction, sufferers cannot escape their obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Often sex addiction is experienced with other addictive behaviours such as drug use and eating disorders. They are all behaviours of the same disease of addiction.
Similar to other addictions such as drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive needs. The behaviour of a sex addict can include repeated empty affairs, compulsive masturbation, frequent use of prostitutes and other sex services and in extreme cases can even progress to exhibitionism, voyeurism, child molestation and rape.
Sex addicts however are not bad people. Their condition is not a moral failing: It is a spiritual unrest.
Why is Sex Addiction So Destructive?
In some Twelve Step fellowship support groups, ‘bottom line behaviour’ is identified. Bottom line behaviour is a term used to define the specific sex addict’s behaviours which they act out on.
Most sex addicts experience ‘intrigue’ which is the mental preoccupation with sexual acts. Objectifying people, constant obsession with sexual acts, flirting and generally spending much time with the preoccupation of sex is the mental state of a sex addict. These obsessions are then followed by the compulsive acting out on sexual behaviours."
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Anonymously connect with people who share your experiences
Anonymously connect with people who share your experiences-- like those who say 'I Want Cybersex'. Read hundreds of true stories, share your own story anonymously, get feedback and comments, chat in the discussion forum, help others, meet new friends, and so much more-- all free. Sign up takes just seconds
Both are good for m and f.
Anyway, flirtomatic.com is OK chatting, and a few peeps on there don't mind cyber (not too many cams). type in ivideochat is another that every now and again you get something good. Both are good for m and f.
one in 10 participants say they're addicted to cybersex, and real-life partners have complained
one in 10 participants say they're addicted to cybersex, and real-life partners have complained
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Touch yourself
While there really are no rules when it comes to cyber sex, you're better off throwing yourself into the scene and surrendering to the fantasy. You may feel somewhat ridiculous ultimately masturbating to a computer at first, but if you can give in to the situation, then it can be a great experience.
If she can't see you, but you have a mic, breathe heavily on occasion to let her know that you're into the fantasy. Describe what you're doing to yourself, or, if you're engaging in a fantasy, what you're "doing" to her.
If she can't see you, but you have a mic, breathe heavily on occasion to let her know that you're into the fantasy. Describe what you're doing to yourself, or, if you're engaging in a fantasy, what you're "doing" to her.
If you surrender yourself to the fantasy, the other person can be anyone you want.
no mic, no cam
If you don't have a mic or a cam, then, rather than masturbate with one hand and type with the other, rotate. Let her write while you satisfy yourself, and then, after you climax, you do the writing while she gets off.
As well, not having either of these things will likely result in your having a difficult time engaging with someone who does. As well, you should be wary of who you're engaging with, as there are plenty of men who disguise themselves as women on the Net.
Things to keep in mind:
Remain anonymous -- don't reveal any personal information. Don't make a habit of it -- make an effort to have real relationships with women, away from the Net. If you surrender yourself to the fantasy, the other person can be anyone you want.
If you don't have a mic or a cam, then, rather than masturbate with one hand and type with the other, rotate. Let her write while you satisfy yourself, and then, after you climax, you do the writing while she gets off.
As well, not having either of these things will likely result in your having a difficult time engaging with someone who does. As well, you should be wary of who you're engaging with, as there are plenty of men who disguise themselves as women on the Net.
Things to keep in mind:
Remain anonymous -- don't reveal any personal information. Don't make a habit of it -- make an effort to have real relationships with women, away from the Net. If you surrender yourself to the fantasy, the other person can be anyone you want.
eager beavers for cyber sex
where can you find someone?
There are plenty of places where you can find eager beavers for cyber sex. They include:
Instant messaging IRC chat Online dating services Chat rooms Message boards E-mail
If you already have a partner, you can meet her at an agreed upon destination on the Net or even keep up your cyber sexing throughout the day via e-mail. It's up to you.
how do you do it?
When it comes to cyber sex, you may want to invest in a microphone, at the very least. That way, the woman you're getting it on with can hear your excitement and know that she's turning you on. As well, there's nothing more difficult than being incredibly excited and having to type with one hand.
Talk or write
Whether or not you have a microphone, you will need to be creative with your language. Imagination is the key to successful cyber sex. However, the language you use will depend on the other person. Some women want nasty, vulgar language, while others prefer the "we're walking on the beach and you look over my way," kind of lingo. Feel her out before you start engaging in the fantasy talk.
If you don't have a mic, don't type things like "gasp, gasp" or "oh yeah, baby, yeah!" As well, being a good speller helps a lot, especially if the other person is.
Here's how to start off the session, and what to avoid at all costs
There are plenty of places where you can find eager beavers for cyber sex. They include:
Instant messaging IRC chat Online dating services Chat rooms Message boards E-mail
If you already have a partner, you can meet her at an agreed upon destination on the Net or even keep up your cyber sexing throughout the day via e-mail. It's up to you.
how do you do it?
When it comes to cyber sex, you may want to invest in a microphone, at the very least. That way, the woman you're getting it on with can hear your excitement and know that she's turning you on. As well, there's nothing more difficult than being incredibly excited and having to type with one hand.
Talk or write
Whether or not you have a microphone, you will need to be creative with your language. Imagination is the key to successful cyber sex. However, the language you use will depend on the other person. Some women want nasty, vulgar language, while others prefer the "we're walking on the beach and you look over my way," kind of lingo. Feel her out before you start engaging in the fantasy talk.
If you don't have a mic, don't type things like "gasp, gasp" or "oh yeah, baby, yeah!" As well, being a good speller helps a lot, especially if the other person is.
Here's how to start off the session, and what to avoid at all costs
How do I find women to have cybersex with?
One of the most common questions in my e-mail is some variation on this: "How do I find women to have cybersex with?"It's a good question. People still seem to believe the internet is full of millions of lonely, socially inept dweebs desperately masturbating with other lonely, socially inept dweebs pretending to be porn stars.
I suppose I can't blame them. Few writers bother to look beyond the fear to find other stories about sex in virtual spaces. And what television news program wants to report on normal people having a great time visiting and flirting and possibly sharing orgasms -- normal people who then log off and go about the rest of their normal lives?It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity. Some cyber partners even end up leaving the virtual space to get married. Ack!But it still irks me that it's such a shock when I explain that having sex online does not mean it's your last resort. It could just mean you'd rather engage and relate than zombie-out in front of the television.What people don't realize is that it's hard to find good sex online if you're a woman, and hard to find sex at all if you're a man. You can't just log into a webcam community and get laid, any more than you can join an online role-playing game and hook up without making any further effort.You have to spend some time, talk to people, form relationships, and maybe -- just maybe -- sex will happen. Cybersex is a woman's world, didn't you know?A man who not only respects that but enjoys it is a man who will not lack for online sexual partners. And if you're not willing to make the investment, go to a cam-girl site and pay to play instead.Because I've been an observer but not sexually active online for the past few years, I called up Kirk (not his real name), an administrator in an adults-only webcam community. We had a private webcam conversation that confirmed what I already knew: Nothing but the tech has changed since my days as Aphrodite.Kirk says his main responsibility as room admin is "to kick out the creeps."Minors and spammers are booted without question; so is anyone who starts "directing" -- telling other people what to do on their cameras -- or harassing other members, particularly the women. Continually asking "anyone want to go private?" or trying to lure premium members to free instant messengers is also grounds for bouncing.It sounds harsh, but it's what keeps a core of 30 or more regulars returning to the room, week after week.
"Women have told me they like to come to our room because we don't mess around," he says.Getting booted is not the end of your cybersex chances. You're banned for 24 hours, but anyone willing to respect the community standards is welcome to try again.
I suppose I can't blame them. Few writers bother to look beyond the fear to find other stories about sex in virtual spaces. And what television news program wants to report on normal people having a great time visiting and flirting and possibly sharing orgasms -- normal people who then log off and go about the rest of their normal lives?It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity. Some cyber partners even end up leaving the virtual space to get married. Ack!But it still irks me that it's such a shock when I explain that having sex online does not mean it's your last resort. It could just mean you'd rather engage and relate than zombie-out in front of the television.What people don't realize is that it's hard to find good sex online if you're a woman, and hard to find sex at all if you're a man. You can't just log into a webcam community and get laid, any more than you can join an online role-playing game and hook up without making any further effort.You have to spend some time, talk to people, form relationships, and maybe -- just maybe -- sex will happen. Cybersex is a woman's world, didn't you know?A man who not only respects that but enjoys it is a man who will not lack for online sexual partners. And if you're not willing to make the investment, go to a cam-girl site and pay to play instead.Because I've been an observer but not sexually active online for the past few years, I called up Kirk (not his real name), an administrator in an adults-only webcam community. We had a private webcam conversation that confirmed what I already knew: Nothing but the tech has changed since my days as Aphrodite.Kirk says his main responsibility as room admin is "to kick out the creeps."Minors and spammers are booted without question; so is anyone who starts "directing" -- telling other people what to do on their cameras -- or harassing other members, particularly the women. Continually asking "anyone want to go private?" or trying to lure premium members to free instant messengers is also grounds for bouncing.It sounds harsh, but it's what keeps a core of 30 or more regulars returning to the room, week after week.
"Women have told me they like to come to our room because we don't mess around," he says.Getting booted is not the end of your cybersex chances. You're banned for 24 hours, but anyone willing to respect the community standards is welcome to try again.
Friday, 16 October 2009
When entering the world of online dating, it’s sad but true: A little paranoia goes a long way
Rule #1: Don’t give out your address “My number-one rule is: Do NOT let someone you just met – online or otherwise – pick you up at your home. You do not want a stranger – and yes, no matter how many times you’ve emailed, talked on the phone and viewed his profile, he’s still a stranger – to know where you live!” says Ginger Ema, author of Back on Top: Fearless Dating After Divorce (Globe Pequot Press, May 2009).
Rule #2: Meet on your turf
So, where should this first date take place? Meet somewhere convenient for you, in a public place, hopefully where you know some of the wait staff or bartenders. “I probably took forty-five first dates to the same little café a few miles from my home, in a busy retail area. They knew me there – heck, I think they had a betting pool in the back about which guy I would end up with. But I felt safe!” Ginger says.
Rule #3: Drive yourself
The safety doesn’t end there. When going on this first date, be sure that you take your own car and you tell a friend where you are going and the name of the person you are meeting (hopefully it is his actual name), and you have an exit strategy. This can be something like telling your date ahead of time that you’ve got a meeting or have to pick up the kids. “When you meet a guy out, you can leave at any time. This is incredibly important when there are 20 million guys online, and you’re not doing an Intelius.com report on each one. If something feels awkward, off, or it’s simply not a match, you say thank you and get in your car and go home,” Ginger says.
Rule #4: Keep personal info personal
Another important safety tip before even getting to that first date is to create an anonymous email account for one that does not include your first name or last name and that doesn’t have your birth date as part of the username. You don’t want to give out all that information to people you are just meeting, it’s how they can stalk you!
Rule #5: Block your number
It’s also a good idea to learn to block your number when you are calling someone from your cell phone. You may not want a new guy to have your cell phone number yet – maybe never!
Rule #6: Don’t bring a new date home
Ginger also suggests never bring a new date to your home to meet your children. In fact, experts recommend that your kids not meet anyone you are dating until it is a serious, exclusive relationship – long enough for you to feel very comfortable about who this man is, and to know that this is something long-term.
Your kids have already had disruption to their lives, no matter how amicable a divorce is. And children can be funny – they may tell us they want us to date; they may tell us they want us to go out, but they are affected by anything that rocks their world. Your kids just don’t need to be in on your dating stories, or who your ex is dating, either. On the other hand, once you are serious with someone, slowly introduce him to your child(ren). “Nothing surprised me more than having a relationship that integrated with the rest of my life. I seriously thought I would only date every Wednesday and every other weekend – when my son was with his dad. And that’s how it went for years – I didn’t date on ‘my son’s time,’” Ginger says. “But once I was in a long-term relationship that I knew was going to last, I introduced him to my son. I never imagined a holistic post-divorce relationship where my son likes my boyfriend, my boyfriend likes my son (this is saying a lot – he is, after all, a teenager). My ex likes my boyfriend and vice versa – I am the Demi Moore of my neighborhood!”
“While not everyone who dates online loves it, it is still the best place to meet more men per minute. I mean, I’ve been viewed 48,000 times on one site! Where else would I have a pool of 48,000 interested men? “
Rule #2: Meet on your turf
So, where should this first date take place? Meet somewhere convenient for you, in a public place, hopefully where you know some of the wait staff or bartenders. “I probably took forty-five first dates to the same little café a few miles from my home, in a busy retail area. They knew me there – heck, I think they had a betting pool in the back about which guy I would end up with. But I felt safe!” Ginger says.
Rule #3: Drive yourself
The safety doesn’t end there. When going on this first date, be sure that you take your own car and you tell a friend where you are going and the name of the person you are meeting (hopefully it is his actual name), and you have an exit strategy. This can be something like telling your date ahead of time that you’ve got a meeting or have to pick up the kids. “When you meet a guy out, you can leave at any time. This is incredibly important when there are 20 million guys online, and you’re not doing an Intelius.com report on each one. If something feels awkward, off, or it’s simply not a match, you say thank you and get in your car and go home,” Ginger says.
Rule #4: Keep personal info personal
Another important safety tip before even getting to that first date is to create an anonymous email account for one that does not include your first name or last name and that doesn’t have your birth date as part of the username. You don’t want to give out all that information to people you are just meeting, it’s how they can stalk you!
Rule #5: Block your number
It’s also a good idea to learn to block your number when you are calling someone from your cell phone. You may not want a new guy to have your cell phone number yet – maybe never!
Rule #6: Don’t bring a new date home
Ginger also suggests never bring a new date to your home to meet your children. In fact, experts recommend that your kids not meet anyone you are dating until it is a serious, exclusive relationship – long enough for you to feel very comfortable about who this man is, and to know that this is something long-term.
Your kids have already had disruption to their lives, no matter how amicable a divorce is. And children can be funny – they may tell us they want us to date; they may tell us they want us to go out, but they are affected by anything that rocks their world. Your kids just don’t need to be in on your dating stories, or who your ex is dating, either. On the other hand, once you are serious with someone, slowly introduce him to your child(ren). “Nothing surprised me more than having a relationship that integrated with the rest of my life. I seriously thought I would only date every Wednesday and every other weekend – when my son was with his dad. And that’s how it went for years – I didn’t date on ‘my son’s time,’” Ginger says. “But once I was in a long-term relationship that I knew was going to last, I introduced him to my son. I never imagined a holistic post-divorce relationship where my son likes my boyfriend, my boyfriend likes my son (this is saying a lot – he is, after all, a teenager). My ex likes my boyfriend and vice versa – I am the Demi Moore of my neighborhood!”
“While not everyone who dates online loves it, it is still the best place to meet more men per minute. I mean, I’ve been viewed 48,000 times on one site! Where else would I have a pool of 48,000 interested men? “
“Women’s intuition” is not just an urban myth so if your gut is telling you that your man is lying then he most likely is.
It should be said that women were given a sixth sense for a reason. “Women’s intuition” is not just an urban myth so if your gut is telling you that your man is lying then he most likely is. But if you’re looking for a little more justification than just a funny feeling, here are some experts’ tips:
1. “Good liars will often have a quick and smooth response and use tactics that will redirect attention back to you or incite some kind of emotional response in you that can divert attention away from them and the lie,” said Manhattan-based clinical psychologist, J.Cilona. “Most other people might fumble a bit or show embarrassment. This is sign that they are not so sophisticated a liar and perhaps just made a bad choice.”
2. Dr. Eddy Kloprogge of FreudTV says you can detect lies by the way a person is smiling. “Forced smiles are easy to spot since they involved the muscles around the mouth,” said Kloprogge. “In a real smile, more facial muscles besides the mouth are involved. A dead giveaway is tightening around the eyes, which sometimes causes crows’ feet.”
3. Dr. Eddy also believes the behavior of other body parts can be a dead giveaway on whether or not a person is telling the truth. If their arms, legs, or hands are stiff and self-directed then they’re most likely lying. “The hands may touch or scratch their face, nose or behind an ear, but are not likely to touch their chest or heart with an open hand.”
4. “Be aware that sometimes men lie because their lady forces them to,” said Daylle Deanna Schwartz, author of Nice Girls Can Finish First. “If you’re overly possessive or jealous or have rules he doesn’t agree with, he may lie to avoid an unpleasant situation.”
5. Be a pseudo detective and check out his story – not by stalking him but by taking time to think through what he tells you. “Many liars are big at making up stories and they believe in being very dramatic. In the end, though, their stories just don’t add up,” said Coy Long, CEO oh Hotlanta Matchmakers.
6. Long also warns that a person who is lying will often times rapidly change the topic of conversation to try and throw the other person off. “They also get really defensive and their tone of voice is inconsistent with their body movements.”
7. Dr. J. Cilona tells people to be very aware of the other person’s answers and body language. “Many people pick up on subtleties without being totally aware of them and new research even shows that we can actually smell fear in the perspiration of others. These kinds of cues are often out of our awareness and get labeled as a feeling or intuition. Consider this to be one of the most important reasons for concern.”
8. Language and word usage can be a telltale sign for liars, according to Kloprogge, who tells clients to be conscious of the other person’s word choice. If they’re repeating your own exact words when answering a question or avoiding direct statements and answers they’re probably not being honest.
9. Answers drenched in humor or sarcasm is an indication that they’re trying to avoid a subject – a big no, no.
10. Silence truly is golden. Kloprogge advises to allow total quiet into the conversation as it will give you a chance to observe their reaction. A person who is lying will most likely become very uncomfortable and restless when there is a pause in conversation.
1. “Good liars will often have a quick and smooth response and use tactics that will redirect attention back to you or incite some kind of emotional response in you that can divert attention away from them and the lie,” said Manhattan-based clinical psychologist, J.Cilona. “Most other people might fumble a bit or show embarrassment. This is sign that they are not so sophisticated a liar and perhaps just made a bad choice.”
2. Dr. Eddy Kloprogge of FreudTV says you can detect lies by the way a person is smiling. “Forced smiles are easy to spot since they involved the muscles around the mouth,” said Kloprogge. “In a real smile, more facial muscles besides the mouth are involved. A dead giveaway is tightening around the eyes, which sometimes causes crows’ feet.”
3. Dr. Eddy also believes the behavior of other body parts can be a dead giveaway on whether or not a person is telling the truth. If their arms, legs, or hands are stiff and self-directed then they’re most likely lying. “The hands may touch or scratch their face, nose or behind an ear, but are not likely to touch their chest or heart with an open hand.”
4. “Be aware that sometimes men lie because their lady forces them to,” said Daylle Deanna Schwartz, author of Nice Girls Can Finish First. “If you’re overly possessive or jealous or have rules he doesn’t agree with, he may lie to avoid an unpleasant situation.”
5. Be a pseudo detective and check out his story – not by stalking him but by taking time to think through what he tells you. “Many liars are big at making up stories and they believe in being very dramatic. In the end, though, their stories just don’t add up,” said Coy Long, CEO oh Hotlanta Matchmakers.
6. Long also warns that a person who is lying will often times rapidly change the topic of conversation to try and throw the other person off. “They also get really defensive and their tone of voice is inconsistent with their body movements.”
7. Dr. J. Cilona tells people to be very aware of the other person’s answers and body language. “Many people pick up on subtleties without being totally aware of them and new research even shows that we can actually smell fear in the perspiration of others. These kinds of cues are often out of our awareness and get labeled as a feeling or intuition. Consider this to be one of the most important reasons for concern.”
8. Language and word usage can be a telltale sign for liars, according to Kloprogge, who tells clients to be conscious of the other person’s word choice. If they’re repeating your own exact words when answering a question or avoiding direct statements and answers they’re probably not being honest.
9. Answers drenched in humor or sarcasm is an indication that they’re trying to avoid a subject – a big no, no.
10. Silence truly is golden. Kloprogge advises to allow total quiet into the conversation as it will give you a chance to observe their reaction. A person who is lying will most likely become very uncomfortable and restless when there is a pause in conversation.
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