“Serving an average of eight clients a day, she ends up making RM1,200 daily and possibly RM36,000 a month,” the New Strait Times quoted Aegile Fernandez, anti-human trafficking coordinator of the NGO who has had experience making women escape the sex industry for more than 20 years, as saying.“But that is just full-time sex workers who enter the trade willingly. If the girls are forced into the trade via human trafficking, she gets nothing except a traumatic experience,” Aegile added.The syndicate running the brothels is said to usually have up to 100 girls under them, meaning that they could rake in about RM120,000 a day and a whopping RM3.6 million a month.Information from pimps operating in the country suggests that Malaysia has hundreds of such syndicates, each operating several brothels in their designated areas. Many brothels in Malaysia double as “health centres” offering massage services.JJ, a pimp for more than 10 years, says that clients are willing to pay from RM60 to RM100 for an hour of massage, followed by an additional RM150 for sex.“Prostitutes who double as massage ladies also get a fee from their handlers for massage services, usually about RM20 per customer,” JJ says.So, in addition to as much as RM36,000 monthly from sex alone, a prostitute can add on another RM9,000 for offering “half services”, bringing her monthly untaxed income to a whopping RM45,000.“Don’t forget their RM200 a day wages for massaging an average of 10 customers. That’s a legitimate RM5,200 a month or RM62,400 a year. They can choose to pay tax on that, but most don’t,” says JJ.He has also revealed that each sex worker pays RM3,000 a month to pimps “as tax or rent for using our centres to do business and for protection from aggressive customers.”According to him, prostitution is a recession-proof business.“Things didn’t slow down for us during the 1997 Asian financial crisis or any of the recessions before that. Sex, like food, is a necessity,” he said. (ANI)
Monday, 25 May 2009
Prostitution is a recession-proof business
Statistics from the international non-governmental organisation, Coalition Against the Trafficking of Women, suggest that there are about 150,000 prostitutes working in Malaysia, with over 10,000 in the Klang Valley.According to information from the women rescued by local women’s aid NGO Tenaganita, a prostitute usually works a seven-day week, charging RM150 an hour.
SEXtech
TechSexual Communications.This might include using text, IM, email, video or other technologies. These communications might be with a specific other or with the general public (for example, maintaining an anonymous or public sex blog where you present yourself and your sex life in a particular way).Using Technology to Create Sexual Opportunities.An ever-increasing number of social networking services (for computers and mobile) are designed to make finding sexual partners and negotiating sexual interactions easier. By allowing people from around the world to connect based on sexual interests, many technologies facilitate sexual opportunities between people who previously would have been unlikely to find partners with matched interests. Technology also creates more solo sexual opportunities by allowing individuals to access sexual material in a safer, faster, easier way.Using Technology for "In Real Life" Sexual Activities.Technology can do more than just help us make time for sex or find a sexual partner, tech has a role in both solo and partnered sex play. From the newest pharmaceutical drugs to programmable sex toys and special positioning devices, we use technology in our sex play to change enhance and support sexual pleasure.Using Technology to Explore Sexual Identity and Orientation.The relative anonymity that technology affords us in communication has changed the way we can present ourselves to the world. It is relatively easy to develop alternate personas online and experience sexual interactions through a different orientation or identity than the one you have in your face-to-face interactions. Many people have long-term work and personal relationship with people they’ve never met in person and sometimes have never spoken with, reducing the power of impressions and stereotypes based on visual and audio cues. Virtual spaces that make use of avatars allow users to develop rich and meaningful identities that they can carry over into other parts of their lives, or not.Technology for Sexual Education.Some people’s interest in sex tech is less personal and more professional and political. Sexuality educators have been relatively slow in adopting new technologies but this is changing. Sex:Tech is an annual conference that focuses on using technologies for sexual health education and the number of websites offering sex education for youth and adults continues to grow as does the adoption of social networking technologies for sex education purposes.Technology for Sexual Entertainment.People may have finally come around to the realization that the Internet isn’t just for porn, but it’s still a popular way to find sexual entertainment. Viewing online pornography, playing sex video games visiting virtual strip clubs -- some people would also consider the virtual sex they have a form of entertainment (while for others virtual sex is tied to relationships and carries more meaning). The history of sex tech shows that whenever a new form of technology is introduced, people use it for sexual entertainment almost immediately.Technology for Sexual/Reproductive Health.What we can do with new health/medical technologies has greatly expanded our reproductive options, and sex tech includes technology for fertility testing and treatment. In another area of sexual health, technology is being used to enhance treatments for sexual dysfunctions, though almost exclusively through pharmaceutical technologies. Unfortunately as sex researchers and therapists have also been slow in adopting new technologies, the use of sex tech to influence sexual dysfunctions and sexual pleasure through social, cognitive and behavior means has yet to be explored in any depth.
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
“I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device,”
“I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device,” to which Samantha responded, “You say that, but you haven’t met The Rabbit.”
Popular toys like The Rabbit, Fleshlight and Purple Rocket may now make up part of the $15 billion global sex toy industry, but it’s been a long road to success for these pleasure props.Early models of the vibrator were used to treat women with hysteria, which, up until 1952 when the American Psychiatric Association dropped the term, was a disorder associated with repressed female sexuality. “[Hysteria] displayed a symptomatology consistent with the normal functioning of female sexuality, for which relief, not surprisingly, was obtained through orgasm, either through intercourse in the marriage bed or by means of massage on the physician’s table,” explained Rachel P. Maines in The Technology of Orgasm: “Hysteria,” the Vibrator, and the Women’s Sexual Satisfaction.
Today, sex toys have broken free of their medical means and are making a significant mark in contemporary culture.Not only does the topic of sex toys warrant shout outs in such television shows as Sex and the City and the upcoming TLC program Mother Knows Sex, a reality show which follows the life of a church-going housewife who has made millions selling sex toys, but it has also been integrated into mainstream culture in more tangible ways.Sex toy parties have grown in popularity as a more provocative take on the Tupperware party. “[They] might make people more comfortable, because someone is coming to your home, you’re with friends, it’s fun and informative,” said Michelle Everest, who teaches human sexuality at Western. Everest also mentioned the existence of progressive sex shops, such as Come As You Are and Good for Her in Toronto, which offer information and sex workshops to help people become better in tune with their sexuality.Despite the growing popularity, acceptance and booming business of sex toys, it’s still an industry facing a number of challenges.“There’s still probably a stigma about going into a sex store, regardless of how progressive it is,” Everest said. “We hope to de-stigmatize the use of them. They’re not for oversexualized people. They’re not for single people who don’t have intimate partners. [Sex toys are] a way to explore your sexuality in a very healthy way,” she added.Susan Knabe, who teaches in both the Faculty of Information and Media Studies and the department of women’s studies and feminist research at Western, identified female sexuality and the idea of sex toys as a joke as problematic.
The Libido Erotic Emporium for Women, a female-friendly sex store located in London, was dedicated to promoting a comfortable, non-judgmental space to shop.
“If things were ever sold in packaging that was inappropriate — and that could basically be anything from being oppressive to women or hetero-normative — she just refused to buy it.”Scanlon also explained how more traditional sex stores can be alienating to customers who stray from our society’s narrow frame of who should be having sex, such as Libido’s customer base that consisted largely of older women. When Libido closed its doors in September 2008, Scanlon recalled a lot of regular customers were devastated, as they felt unwelcome in conventional sex stores.
“It was really, really hard and sad,” she said.
Popular toys like The Rabbit, Fleshlight and Purple Rocket may now make up part of the $15 billion global sex toy industry, but it’s been a long road to success for these pleasure props.Early models of the vibrator were used to treat women with hysteria, which, up until 1952 when the American Psychiatric Association dropped the term, was a disorder associated with repressed female sexuality. “[Hysteria] displayed a symptomatology consistent with the normal functioning of female sexuality, for which relief, not surprisingly, was obtained through orgasm, either through intercourse in the marriage bed or by means of massage on the physician’s table,” explained Rachel P. Maines in The Technology of Orgasm: “Hysteria,” the Vibrator, and the Women’s Sexual Satisfaction.
Today, sex toys have broken free of their medical means and are making a significant mark in contemporary culture.Not only does the topic of sex toys warrant shout outs in such television shows as Sex and the City and the upcoming TLC program Mother Knows Sex, a reality show which follows the life of a church-going housewife who has made millions selling sex toys, but it has also been integrated into mainstream culture in more tangible ways.Sex toy parties have grown in popularity as a more provocative take on the Tupperware party. “[They] might make people more comfortable, because someone is coming to your home, you’re with friends, it’s fun and informative,” said Michelle Everest, who teaches human sexuality at Western. Everest also mentioned the existence of progressive sex shops, such as Come As You Are and Good for Her in Toronto, which offer information and sex workshops to help people become better in tune with their sexuality.Despite the growing popularity, acceptance and booming business of sex toys, it’s still an industry facing a number of challenges.“There’s still probably a stigma about going into a sex store, regardless of how progressive it is,” Everest said. “We hope to de-stigmatize the use of them. They’re not for oversexualized people. They’re not for single people who don’t have intimate partners. [Sex toys are] a way to explore your sexuality in a very healthy way,” she added.Susan Knabe, who teaches in both the Faculty of Information and Media Studies and the department of women’s studies and feminist research at Western, identified female sexuality and the idea of sex toys as a joke as problematic.
“It’s the way women are positioned as sexual consumers,” Knabe said, adding that lingerie and sex toys have come to be how women position themselves sexually.“I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but I do think it’s easily recuperated within the discourse of women’s sexuality as being sort of trivial. It’s associating it with toys, infantilizing or at least juvenile.”
The Libido Erotic Emporium for Women, a female-friendly sex store located in London, was dedicated to promoting a comfortable, non-judgmental space to shop.
“[Kelly Garland, the owner of Libido] really tried to support women-only businesses. She was also very conscientious of the packaging things were sold in,” explained Sarah Scanlon, internal relations manager for the Women’s Issues Network and a former employee at Libido.
“If things were ever sold in packaging that was inappropriate — and that could basically be anything from being oppressive to women or hetero-normative — she just refused to buy it.”Scanlon also explained how more traditional sex stores can be alienating to customers who stray from our society’s narrow frame of who should be having sex, such as Libido’s customer base that consisted largely of older women. When Libido closed its doors in September 2008, Scanlon recalled a lot of regular customers were devastated, as they felt unwelcome in conventional sex stores.
“It was really, really hard and sad,” she said.
making masturbation interesting,Before becoming a porn mastermind, Houston worked at Good Vibrations, another pillar of San Francisco's sex industry.
On the very edge of Bernal Heights, right before the residential streets drop away and the passing highway begins, lives Shine Louise Houston -- the creative force behind self-proclaimed indie dyke porn studio Pink & White Productions. Climbing up the stairs, stepping over scattered children's toys to Houston's apartment, nothing gives away the fact that the ex-film student living here shoots and edits high-quality queer porn. From her home office, Houston has worked on multiple critically acclaimed, award-winning features, like Crashpad and Superfreak -- films that take a craftsman's approach to sex. As Violet Blue explained in her recent SF Chronicle column about Pink & White's new film, Champion: Love Hurts, the members of this women-run production studio were "primed like evil gay masterminds to conquer the world with their superlative films" from the very beginning back in 2005 -- and it they have.Before becoming a porn mastermind, Houston worked at Good Vibrations, another pillar of San Francisco's sex industry. Every day, as part of her demanding retail job -- which, she explains, required her to be both "salesperson and sexologist" -- she saw the void in available porn DVDs where decent, female-oriented films featuring non-cookie-cutter bodies should have been. Sure, a few movies had popped up here and there. Even Good Vibes had tried its hand at making features. As she saw it though, there were no long-term, sustainable studios putting out the type of porn she wanted to see. Once she hit 30, she decided to quit. "I said, 'Fuck this. I'm starting a company," she laughs. Soon enough, she found herself telling a potential backer who asked who she was, "I'm going to be the best dyke porn producer in San Francisco."
Above all, Houston believes in the art of film, no matter what her subject. The original Crashpad, for example, Pink & White's early feature about a mysterious apartment where women can go for uninhibited fun, was shot in four days at a friend's apartment, using models (i.e., actors) who'd simply heard about the project by word of mouth. The editing process, by comparison to those three days, took eight weeks. "Every other genre of film conforms to a certain visual language," says Houston, so why can't porn? Why should viewers have to suffice with long takes, single shots, and awkward camera movement? When she's on the job, Houston isn't thinking about the beautiful women in front of her, she says. She's thinking about how to film them. "Four-ways are the hardest to shoot," she explains, "because there are always bodies blocking everything." Also tough: making masturbation interesting.Houston and Pink and White as a whole have received a lot of praise for the "realness" of their sex scenes -- but when it comes to her art form, ironically, Houston doesn't believe in the "real." It's true that, unlike a lot of mainstream pornographers, she doesn't choreograph her models. She just lets them go at it."What they're doing is fine," she says. Though the natural pace to this kind of sex be longer and more drawn out than what normally appears in porn, she can compress everything down in postproduction, giving each scene a steady beat - if not an authentic one. Houston isn't worried the extra time she dedicates to her films will slow her down. She prides herself on featuring alternative bodies, on presenting the queer without exoticizing it. "The porn audience as a whole is getting smarter," she says, and that's just what they want.
505 cent is now on to sex toys.
Female First reports, "The sexy rapper is desperate to release a line of condoms and waterproof sex toys designed to excite his female fans and make them feel closer to his idols."
Saturday, 22 November 2008
doesn’t have sex with her husband anymore. Instead, he locks himself in another room and looks at pornography online
Southern wife and mother who’d prefer to go by her anonymous online handle, doesn’t have sex with her husband anymore. Instead, he locks himself in another room and looks at pornography online, she says sometimes for 10-to-12 hours a day during a conference call she’s requested so that I can’t identify her home phone number. Though he’s “loving and touchy-feely” in public, all his affections at home go toward his habit for porn, a word Grits4Ever can barely bring herself to say. “I used to feel ashamed,” she admits, “like I was the only one out there with a problem, like it was my fault.” That is, until she found the Experience Project, a web site where thousands of others were also sharing their sexless-marriage stories.
“You actually have sex on the internet?!” look of shock and concern—raised eyebrows, dropped jaw.
“You actually have sex on the internet?!” look of shock and concern—raised eyebrows, dropped jaw. And then there’s the most curious reaction of all: the understanding, almost sympathetic nod, which says, “It must be tough, but good for you. After all, somebody has got to uncover that den of online perversion.”
Rarely do people—even sex positive people—respond cybersex positively. Why is that? When so many consenting adults are having sex online, why do we still think of it as “wrong”? Sure, we can blame media that feeds us anti-cybersex sensationalism (To Catch a Predator, with its line-up of internet prowling pedophiles, come to mind). But the truth is we love sex, and we definitely love technology. So why can’t we love the two together?
“Are there any benefits to cybersex?” Like, seriously? Maybe I haven’t been making myself clear: of course there are benefits to cybersex! Cybersex, like real-life sex, can be a wonderful thing—full of pleasure, skill, and sexual self-expression. Here are the top ten reasons you—yes, you, red-blooded, non-perverted American citizen—should be out doing it right now.
1. Safety: Despite the sensationalist buzz around internet predators, cybersex is actually a lot safer than sex in real life. Don’t give out personal information to strangers, of course, and you’ll find the only thing you have worry about is what turns you on—not STD’s, not unwanted pregnancy, not even how to find a babysitter. As one single mom put it, “Why endanger my kids by bringing home sexual partners if I can tuck them into bed and have fun online in the next room?”
2. Convenient sex for singles: Cybersex doesn’t require an empty house, a hotel room, or even a bed. More importantly, it doesn’t require the lengthy tactics of face-to-face seduction. Whether you’re looking for a quick romp before you head off to work—hard to come by if you live alone—or an end-of-the-night, on-demand orgasm, the internet and its wealth of cybersex enthusiasts is always waiting and ready.
3. Convenient sex for couples: He lives in California. She’s spending three weeks visiting family in the Philippines. How will this couple handle their time apart? By having regular webcam sex, of course! Being long-distance doesn’t mean you have to be sexually frustrated. In fact, it can be a great time to explore sexy new sides to a relationship—with the help of a little technology.
4. Trying new kinks: Because cybersex isn’t “real,” it gives people a chance to experiment with sex acts and fetishes they haven’t, wouldn’t, or couldn’t in real life. Think you have a thing for stockings? Want to practice switching genders? Does the idea of being a giant whale really turn you on, but you can’t figure out the logistics? Internet sex communities are often accepting and almost always anonymous. Who’s going to judge you?
5. Meeting new people: Having cybersex with someone you’ve just met may seem strange, but it can actually lead to lasting online friendships. Hook up with a hottie in a virtual world and you may find yourself chatting about indie rock and ice cream preferences for hours after the sex is over. There’s also the appeal of the virtual one-night stand: a new lover every night, from the comfort of a desk chair.
6. Exercising your creative muscle: Cybersex is an art. How often do you get to write like an erotic novelist and dream up new ways to describe that tired, old “throbbing member”? Alternately, take pride in your digital-camera skills. You’re a real pornography photographer when you snap those naked pictures and post them online. Own up!
7. Making money: Sure, there are stigmas around using your body for cash. But combine the safety, creativity, and convenience of cybersex, and you’ve got a great recipe for online sex work. From escorting in Second Life to performing on webcams, the possibilities abound for internet users who feel comfortable putting themselves out there online—and earning something back in exchange.
8. Gaining confidence: Don’t think you’re a sexy person? You’re wrong. Someone out there on the world wide web shares your sexual interests—and thinks you’re hot. Start chatting; buy yourself a webcam. With enough cyberers wrapped around your sexy, virtual finger, you might just look in the real-life mirror a whole new way.
9. Practicing for “the real thing”: Talking dirty in real-life bed can be hard—not because it’s actually difficult, but because it comes with a lot of pressure. “What if I sound stupid? What if he doesn’t think it’s sexy?” Enter text-based cybersex. Thanks to the anonymity of the internet, it’s easy to get feedback on dirty talk—and to get used to hearing it coming out of your fingertips, if not your mouth.
10. The sheer pleasure: Cybersex is sexy, and it feels good. So go on, have some already!
Rarely do people—even sex positive people—respond cybersex positively. Why is that? When so many consenting adults are having sex online, why do we still think of it as “wrong”? Sure, we can blame media that feeds us anti-cybersex sensationalism (To Catch a Predator, with its line-up of internet prowling pedophiles, come to mind). But the truth is we love sex, and we definitely love technology. So why can’t we love the two together?
“Are there any benefits to cybersex?” Like, seriously? Maybe I haven’t been making myself clear: of course there are benefits to cybersex! Cybersex, like real-life sex, can be a wonderful thing—full of pleasure, skill, and sexual self-expression. Here are the top ten reasons you—yes, you, red-blooded, non-perverted American citizen—should be out doing it right now.
1. Safety: Despite the sensationalist buzz around internet predators, cybersex is actually a lot safer than sex in real life. Don’t give out personal information to strangers, of course, and you’ll find the only thing you have worry about is what turns you on—not STD’s, not unwanted pregnancy, not even how to find a babysitter. As one single mom put it, “Why endanger my kids by bringing home sexual partners if I can tuck them into bed and have fun online in the next room?”
2. Convenient sex for singles: Cybersex doesn’t require an empty house, a hotel room, or even a bed. More importantly, it doesn’t require the lengthy tactics of face-to-face seduction. Whether you’re looking for a quick romp before you head off to work—hard to come by if you live alone—or an end-of-the-night, on-demand orgasm, the internet and its wealth of cybersex enthusiasts is always waiting and ready.
3. Convenient sex for couples: He lives in California. She’s spending three weeks visiting family in the Philippines. How will this couple handle their time apart? By having regular webcam sex, of course! Being long-distance doesn’t mean you have to be sexually frustrated. In fact, it can be a great time to explore sexy new sides to a relationship—with the help of a little technology.
4. Trying new kinks: Because cybersex isn’t “real,” it gives people a chance to experiment with sex acts and fetishes they haven’t, wouldn’t, or couldn’t in real life. Think you have a thing for stockings? Want to practice switching genders? Does the idea of being a giant whale really turn you on, but you can’t figure out the logistics? Internet sex communities are often accepting and almost always anonymous. Who’s going to judge you?
5. Meeting new people: Having cybersex with someone you’ve just met may seem strange, but it can actually lead to lasting online friendships. Hook up with a hottie in a virtual world and you may find yourself chatting about indie rock and ice cream preferences for hours after the sex is over. There’s also the appeal of the virtual one-night stand: a new lover every night, from the comfort of a desk chair.
6. Exercising your creative muscle: Cybersex is an art. How often do you get to write like an erotic novelist and dream up new ways to describe that tired, old “throbbing member”? Alternately, take pride in your digital-camera skills. You’re a real pornography photographer when you snap those naked pictures and post them online. Own up!
7. Making money: Sure, there are stigmas around using your body for cash. But combine the safety, creativity, and convenience of cybersex, and you’ve got a great recipe for online sex work. From escorting in Second Life to performing on webcams, the possibilities abound for internet users who feel comfortable putting themselves out there online—and earning something back in exchange.
8. Gaining confidence: Don’t think you’re a sexy person? You’re wrong. Someone out there on the world wide web shares your sexual interests—and thinks you’re hot. Start chatting; buy yourself a webcam. With enough cyberers wrapped around your sexy, virtual finger, you might just look in the real-life mirror a whole new way.
9. Practicing for “the real thing”: Talking dirty in real-life bed can be hard—not because it’s actually difficult, but because it comes with a lot of pressure. “What if I sound stupid? What if he doesn’t think it’s sexy?” Enter text-based cybersex. Thanks to the anonymity of the internet, it’s easy to get feedback on dirty talk—and to get used to hearing it coming out of your fingertips, if not your mouth.
10. The sheer pleasure: Cybersex is sexy, and it feels good. So go on, have some already!
"We weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that, we were just chatting and hanging out together,"
British couple who married in a lavish Second Life wedding ceremony are to divorce after one of them had an alleged "affair" in the online world.Amy Taylor, 28, said she had caught husband David Pollard, 40, having sex with an animated woman. The couple, who met in an Internet chatroom in 2003, are now separated."I went mad -- I was so hurt. I just couldn't believe what he'd done," "It may have started online, but it existed entirely in the real world and it hurts just as much now it is over."
Second Life allows users to create alter egos known as "avatars" and interact with other players, forming relationships, holding down jobs and trading products and services for a virtual currency convertible into real life dollars.
Taylor said she had caught Pollard's avatar having sex with a virtual prostitute: "I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It's cheating as far as I'm concerned."The couple's real-life wedding in 2005 was eclipsed by a fairy tale ceremony held within Second Life. she had subsequently hired an online private detective to track his activities: "He never did anything in real life, but I had my suspicions about what he was doing in Second Life."Pollard admitted having an online relationship with a "girl in America" but denied wrongdoing. "We weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that, we were just chatting and hanging out together," Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.
Second Life allows users to create alter egos known as "avatars" and interact with other players, forming relationships, holding down jobs and trading products and services for a virtual currency convertible into real life dollars.
Taylor said she had caught Pollard's avatar having sex with a virtual prostitute: "I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It's cheating as far as I'm concerned."The couple's real-life wedding in 2005 was eclipsed by a fairy tale ceremony held within Second Life. she had subsequently hired an online private detective to track his activities: "He never did anything in real life, but I had my suspicions about what he was doing in Second Life."Pollard admitted having an online relationship with a "girl in America" but denied wrongdoing. "We weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that, we were just chatting and hanging out together," Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.
Friday, 21 November 2008
modern medicine now offers women a near-perfect physical simulation of their lost innocence
Once lost, virginity can never be replaced — but modern medicine now offers women a near-perfect physical simulation of their lost innocence. Hymenoplasty, the surgical reconstruction of the hymen broken during a women's first experience of intercourse, or, increasingly, during demanding exercise or as a result of a collision or fall by women who've never had sex, has prompted a growing number of young betrothed women in France to make a last-ditch attempt to avoid the humiliation, repudiation, and possibly violence that could result from husbands and families discovering from blood-free bridal sheets that their wedding night had not been their first sexual experience.Hymenoplasty has generated renewed attention here in the wake of a court ruling last month in the northern city of Lille, which annulled a marriage on the basis of a husband's complaint that his wife had falsely promised that she was a virgin — a confession he obtained after furiously waving the new couple's spotless bedclothes before still-celebrating wedding guests. Though the decision made no mention of religion, the fact that the couple were Muslim sparked complaints that France's strictly secular state is being undermined by traditional Arab cultural strictures. The court ruling also infuriated feminists, who saw its acceptance of prior sexual experience as grounds for annulment as tantamount to treating marriage as the equivalent of a commercial transaction in which the buyer had discovered a hidden flaw in his purchase. Many Muslim leaders were also outraged, insisting that Islam does not demand virginity as a precondition for marriage, and claimed that the ruling belied the judge's archaic misunderstanding of the faith and its tenets.
Though an appeal by France's Justice Ministry resulted in the Lille ruling being overturned, the storm it provoked has focused media attention on young Muslim women who turn to hymenoplasty to avoid the fate of the repudiated Lille bride. News reports have featured traumatized patients discussing the reaction they'd have faced on their wedding night or following virginity examinations frequently required prior to traditional marriages. Some admit they've paid as much as $5,250 to have their hymens reconstituted in private French clinics; others go to cities in Tunisia, Algeria, or Morocco, where the procedure is even more common, and costs as little as $300. Though the number of Muslim women in the United Kingdom, Germany, Belgium, and France undergoing the procedure is unknown, there's a consensus among doctors that hymenoplasty is increasingly common. Ironically, as some commentators note, the increase in the procedure reflects the growing emancipation of women from tradition-rooted communities, but also the ongoing male oppression signified by the obsession with female virginity. "French Muslim women are increasingly defying the restrictions and repression men try to enforce, and leading full, modern lives — including sexually," says Dounia Bouzar, whose recent book Allah, My Boss, and Me explores Islam in the French workplace. "The one time they feel obliged to make a concession to outdated attitudes is with the marital requirement of virginity — a purely macho tradition that has no basis in Islam, and is certainly nothing courts should be respecting. This surgery is unfortunate, though it is a way for women who have insisted on living their own lives to avoid punishment under a backward custom." Even then, there's plenty of anguish and surrender involved. Doctor Stephane Saint-Leger, head of the Children and Women's Ward at the Robert Ballanger Hospital in the ethnically diverse Paris suburb of Aulnay-sous-Bois, agrees the social and sexual differences between young Muslim and non-Muslim women in France are shrinking — including a trend of marrying later in life. That trend has generally reduced the likelihood of women of any faith marrying as virgins. But Saint-Leger says the pressure and intimidation evoked by the Muslim women who come to him for help as their traditional weddings loom frequently threaten their physical and psychological well-being. For that reason, he says, he often agrees to perform hymenoplasties, even though it's the kind of indirectly coerced act he considers ethically objectionable. "They represent young Muslim women surrendering to unnecessary medical intervention due to unacceptable pressure," Saint-Leger says. "With this, its pressure from the traditional people. But elsewhere, women also surrender to unnecessary medical intervention to change their breasts, noses, lips, or entire face due to unacceptable pressure of the beautiful people."
Though the overturning of the Lille verdict removes the risk non-virgin Muslim brides could find themselves dragged to court on fraud charges by infuriated husbands, the cultural pressures some face remain sufficiently great that many will continue turning to hymenoplasty to restore the semblance of chastity. Many times, however, the ruse may all be for naught: Saint-Leger notes notes that 30% to 40% of both original and reconstructed hymens fail to produce the virginity-confirming bleeding when ruptured by penetration, anyway.
Though an appeal by France's Justice Ministry resulted in the Lille ruling being overturned, the storm it provoked has focused media attention on young Muslim women who turn to hymenoplasty to avoid the fate of the repudiated Lille bride. News reports have featured traumatized patients discussing the reaction they'd have faced on their wedding night or following virginity examinations frequently required prior to traditional marriages. Some admit they've paid as much as $5,250 to have their hymens reconstituted in private French clinics; others go to cities in Tunisia, Algeria, or Morocco, where the procedure is even more common, and costs as little as $300. Though the number of Muslim women in the United Kingdom, Germany, Belgium, and France undergoing the procedure is unknown, there's a consensus among doctors that hymenoplasty is increasingly common. Ironically, as some commentators note, the increase in the procedure reflects the growing emancipation of women from tradition-rooted communities, but also the ongoing male oppression signified by the obsession with female virginity. "French Muslim women are increasingly defying the restrictions and repression men try to enforce, and leading full, modern lives — including sexually," says Dounia Bouzar, whose recent book Allah, My Boss, and Me explores Islam in the French workplace. "The one time they feel obliged to make a concession to outdated attitudes is with the marital requirement of virginity — a purely macho tradition that has no basis in Islam, and is certainly nothing courts should be respecting. This surgery is unfortunate, though it is a way for women who have insisted on living their own lives to avoid punishment under a backward custom." Even then, there's plenty of anguish and surrender involved. Doctor Stephane Saint-Leger, head of the Children and Women's Ward at the Robert Ballanger Hospital in the ethnically diverse Paris suburb of Aulnay-sous-Bois, agrees the social and sexual differences between young Muslim and non-Muslim women in France are shrinking — including a trend of marrying later in life. That trend has generally reduced the likelihood of women of any faith marrying as virgins. But Saint-Leger says the pressure and intimidation evoked by the Muslim women who come to him for help as their traditional weddings loom frequently threaten their physical and psychological well-being. For that reason, he says, he often agrees to perform hymenoplasties, even though it's the kind of indirectly coerced act he considers ethically objectionable. "They represent young Muslim women surrendering to unnecessary medical intervention due to unacceptable pressure," Saint-Leger says. "With this, its pressure from the traditional people. But elsewhere, women also surrender to unnecessary medical intervention to change their breasts, noses, lips, or entire face due to unacceptable pressure of the beautiful people."
Though the overturning of the Lille verdict removes the risk non-virgin Muslim brides could find themselves dragged to court on fraud charges by infuriated husbands, the cultural pressures some face remain sufficiently great that many will continue turning to hymenoplasty to restore the semblance of chastity. Many times, however, the ruse may all be for naught: Saint-Leger notes notes that 30% to 40% of both original and reconstructed hymens fail to produce the virginity-confirming bleeding when ruptured by penetration, anyway.
McWhore is an anonymous woman who has worked in the sex industry in Scotland
high-profile sex blogger, after an "erotic masseuse" known only as Slutty McWhore started writing a column for The Skinny magazine, a youth street paper that has set itself on a collision course with anti-prostitution groups after the announcement that it would be dedicating an entire issue to sex workers.McWhore is an anonymous woman who has worked in the sex industry in Scotland and America,Women's groups are already lining up to attack the column, which they accuse of "normalising" the sex trade and bolstering the arguments for its legalisation.The Skinny's new columnist, a women in her early-30s who is currently living in America, said: "The Skinny blog is a place for me to educate, or at least inform, people about the nature of the job and bust some of the myths and stereotypes about sex workers.
"I want it to reflect my experience of ambivalence about the industry. I don't like sex-worker bloggers who describe sex work as empowering', but I also hate the radical feminists who think that women like me are poor, f******-up victims. It's such a grey area, and this is what I want my blog to reflect."She added: "Sex work - or writing about it, at least - has totally boosted my confidence and self-esteem as a woman."The Skinny's next issue will be dedicated to promulgating its liberal stance on prostitution, promoted by a section of its paper that used to be called LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Transexual and Bisexual) but is now called Deviance - a move that was controversial in itself.Rupert Thomson, its editor, said the magazine was dedicated to creating a "social effect". He said: "It's important to support sex workers because they are routinely denied a voice and others consistently insist on speaking for them. It's a typical irony that those who think they know what's best for sex workers tend to advocate laws that are damaging to them. We want to initiate conversation."The sex industry splits opinion drastically, which reflects the fact there's a lot at stake and there are no easy answers, and we thought the supporting voice needed a greater airing. We want to promote a positive sexual attitude all round."Its stance directly contradicts the current orthodoxy, which hinges on the assumption that prostitution is a form of violence against women, instead favouring an approach that considers the relaxation of current laws.Thomson continued: "They say it's the oldest profession, and you've got to think at least some of those transactions weren't abusive."Jan Macleod, from Glasgow Women's Support, worried that the blog would perpetrate the "male fantasy of the happy hooker", a woman who enters sex work voluntarily and enjoys her work.Research conducted by her group - passionate advocates of strong laws on prostitution, including those passed last year that criminalise the men that buy sex - indicates women in the sex industry only report positive experiences 9% of the time, most of which correspond with the handing over of money.She said: "I don't get the argument that suggests because prostitution worked out for one woman, it should be legalised. The opposite is true. The fact that a very small number of women come out of it with money and a decent level of life in no way makes up for the fact the life expectancy of most sex workers is severely shortened by their work."However, there is a clamour in parts of Scotland for a more liberal stance on sex work. George Lewis, co-chair of ScotPep (Scottish Prostitutes Education Project), a group set up to promote "health and dignity in prostitution", said: "Any informed debate is healthy. In the case of The Skinny, where its readers may be the policy-makers of the future, it is particularly important.""The next battle will be on the issue of criminalising the purchase of sex," he added.
"I want it to reflect my experience of ambivalence about the industry. I don't like sex-worker bloggers who describe sex work as empowering', but I also hate the radical feminists who think that women like me are poor, f******-up victims. It's such a grey area, and this is what I want my blog to reflect."She added: "Sex work - or writing about it, at least - has totally boosted my confidence and self-esteem as a woman."The Skinny's next issue will be dedicated to promulgating its liberal stance on prostitution, promoted by a section of its paper that used to be called LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Transexual and Bisexual) but is now called Deviance - a move that was controversial in itself.Rupert Thomson, its editor, said the magazine was dedicated to creating a "social effect". He said: "It's important to support sex workers because they are routinely denied a voice and others consistently insist on speaking for them. It's a typical irony that those who think they know what's best for sex workers tend to advocate laws that are damaging to them. We want to initiate conversation."The sex industry splits opinion drastically, which reflects the fact there's a lot at stake and there are no easy answers, and we thought the supporting voice needed a greater airing. We want to promote a positive sexual attitude all round."Its stance directly contradicts the current orthodoxy, which hinges on the assumption that prostitution is a form of violence against women, instead favouring an approach that considers the relaxation of current laws.Thomson continued: "They say it's the oldest profession, and you've got to think at least some of those transactions weren't abusive."Jan Macleod, from Glasgow Women's Support, worried that the blog would perpetrate the "male fantasy of the happy hooker", a woman who enters sex work voluntarily and enjoys her work.Research conducted by her group - passionate advocates of strong laws on prostitution, including those passed last year that criminalise the men that buy sex - indicates women in the sex industry only report positive experiences 9% of the time, most of which correspond with the handing over of money.She said: "I don't get the argument that suggests because prostitution worked out for one woman, it should be legalised. The opposite is true. The fact that a very small number of women come out of it with money and a decent level of life in no way makes up for the fact the life expectancy of most sex workers is severely shortened by their work."However, there is a clamour in parts of Scotland for a more liberal stance on sex work. George Lewis, co-chair of ScotPep (Scottish Prostitutes Education Project), a group set up to promote "health and dignity in prostitution", said: "Any informed debate is healthy. In the case of The Skinny, where its readers may be the policy-makers of the future, it is particularly important.""The next battle will be on the issue of criminalising the purchase of sex," he added.
"A woman needs to feel appreciated to have sex. A man feels appreciated when he gets sex."
"A woman needs to feel appreciated to have sex. A man feels appreciated when he gets sex." "It's not that I don't love my husband. I want to spend time with him but it's simply that daily life is exhausting," working mom Angela Cox added.
Gynecologist and sex therapist Dr. Maureen Whelihan said she hears that from women every day. They're wiped out and so is their sex drive. Whelihan said, "It just sounds like so much work so they'd rather not." So why after a long tiring day at work are men "ready for love" and women are not? "Because sex for men is a stress reliever while sex for women requires stress relief," Whelihan explained.
And stress relief is something that women are often missing. Working, caring for children, cooking and cleaning can leave them feeling not only exhausted but also unappreciated and resentful. "You can't mention enough the grudges women are holding. Their angry thoughts that they think they are expected to do too much and not being recognized by their partner," Whelihan said. There's a simple solution according to Whelihan. It's something she recommends to her sex therapy couples.
Step one: Men should take over the wife's household duties two nights a week.
Petrella said, "Definitely. If you're freed up from those responsibilities I think you're a little perkier at the end of the day." On their night off, Whelihan recommends women exercise, have a glass of wine, read a book or do something that relaxes them. "What my husband and I will do occasionally is when I get home before him, I will sit in his recliner and he'll wait on me. And those are good nights," working mom Laura Masiello said.
Step two: If possible, plan a date night and send the kids to grandma's or a friend's.
"They tell me every day: 'I'm just waiting for that knock on the door.' So it needs to be a night that women know that there are no children coming home," Whelihan said.
Step three: Guys, set the mood. "Really what women want is passion. They want to be touched non-sexually initially," Whelihan explained. Working mom Carol Romanelli said, "Seduction. I'm tired but you can seduce me into it ... very easily!"
Light some candles, turn on the music and remember why you fell in love in the first place.
"It sounds corny to the guy and 'Why do I have to go through all this?' But five minutes of that means a world to your partner," Whelihan said. "Just a touch that's a non-sexual touch that just says, I'm here to relax you. It will always lead to the road that you want. You just have to get it going that way."
In addition to fatigue, hormonal changes, medications and depression can also lead to low desire, Whelihan said.
Gynecologist and sex therapist Dr. Maureen Whelihan said she hears that from women every day. They're wiped out and so is their sex drive. Whelihan said, "It just sounds like so much work so they'd rather not." So why after a long tiring day at work are men "ready for love" and women are not? "Because sex for men is a stress reliever while sex for women requires stress relief," Whelihan explained.
And stress relief is something that women are often missing. Working, caring for children, cooking and cleaning can leave them feeling not only exhausted but also unappreciated and resentful. "You can't mention enough the grudges women are holding. Their angry thoughts that they think they are expected to do too much and not being recognized by their partner," Whelihan said. There's a simple solution according to Whelihan. It's something she recommends to her sex therapy couples.
Step one: Men should take over the wife's household duties two nights a week.
Petrella said, "Definitely. If you're freed up from those responsibilities I think you're a little perkier at the end of the day." On their night off, Whelihan recommends women exercise, have a glass of wine, read a book or do something that relaxes them. "What my husband and I will do occasionally is when I get home before him, I will sit in his recliner and he'll wait on me. And those are good nights," working mom Laura Masiello said.
Step two: If possible, plan a date night and send the kids to grandma's or a friend's.
"They tell me every day: 'I'm just waiting for that knock on the door.' So it needs to be a night that women know that there are no children coming home," Whelihan said.
Step three: Guys, set the mood. "Really what women want is passion. They want to be touched non-sexually initially," Whelihan explained. Working mom Carol Romanelli said, "Seduction. I'm tired but you can seduce me into it ... very easily!"
Light some candles, turn on the music and remember why you fell in love in the first place.
"It sounds corny to the guy and 'Why do I have to go through all this?' But five minutes of that means a world to your partner," Whelihan said. "Just a touch that's a non-sexual touch that just says, I'm here to relax you. It will always lead to the road that you want. You just have to get it going that way."
In addition to fatigue, hormonal changes, medications and depression can also lead to low desire, Whelihan said.
Friday, 14 November 2008
Cyberdildonics technology integrates telepresence and sex, transmitting or receiving the physical sensation of "touch" across a network
Cyberdildonics technology integrates telepresence and sex, transmitting or receiving the physical sensation of "touch" across a network for erotic purposes.The term was created in the 1980s by internet pioneer Ted Nelson, who also coined the term hypertext. He used it to refer to computer-controlled masturbation devices paired with either a virtual reality environment (allowing users to have simulated sex with remote partners) or a computer-generated partner.In Howard Rheingold's 1991 book Virtual Reality, he described the supreme teledildonic apparatus as a "diaphanous bodysuit, something like a body stocking but with the kind of intimate snugness of a condom." The suits were loaded with an "array of effectors," and someone wearing one could use haptic technology to touch or be touched by someone else half a world away.The idea was seized-upon by the sex industry and they found some technologists willing to help them create a happy medium between the fantastic fetishistic possibilities of Star Trek's 24th-century Holodeck and the limited reality of 20th-century technology.In 1999, porn producer Vivid Entertainment created a prototype of Rheingold's sex suit, a neoprene bodysuit equipped with 36 strategically placed sensors that, at the click of a mouse, could each deliver one of five sensations - tickle, pinprick, vibration, hot or cold - to a wearer's erogenous zones. Vivid was weeks away from launching its product when the U.S. government raised concerns about safety - specifically the potential for pacemaker wearers to be electrocuted and the dangers of electrical surges when excess moisture was introduced into the bodysuit. Rather than risk lawsuits and bad publicity from a series of "Wet Panties Kill Horny Girl" headlines, Vivid scrapped the product and went back to what they were good at - producing porn.The sex industry's labs proceeded to release many rather frightening and ridiculous-looking devices not based on cyberdildonic technology.Men did all sorts of silly things with their penises, sticking them into The Virtual Sex Machine (www.vrinnovations.com) which promised to create "a realistic experience" and strapping on the Digital Sexsations Little Black Box (which plugged into a nine-pin cable port!) to try and get their rocks off.
Girls and Boys who wanted cyberdildonic insertables were sold products that (on the other end) plugged into their computer's USB port for power, but for the most part weren't actually interactive (from a multi-user perspective). The few devices which did allow remote interactivity accepted simple vibrator commands (on/off & a speed control) through a crude web interface. Participants wanting a more stimulating experience going or coming over the wires needed to add webcams - and many did. Once the basic devices were available, many people with toys started seeking drivers and many drivers started seeking people with toys.
The Internet Friends Network (www.ifriends.com) started up to connect these people with other "friends" around the world, and that's when critical mass was reached. As more people acquired cameras and toys, and others acquired the desire to control these devices, the community and the demand grew quickly. That, in turn, has brought about the next logical force of 21st-century technical development: The Open Source Movement.
Open Dildonics (www.opendildonics.org/) is a recently-launched open-source group that plans to develop and provide software and hardware schematics free of charge, allowing the general public to construct and run their own Cyberdildonics equipment.
Its current focus is the development of a working prototype to be controlled both locally and remotely via a computer's parallel port. The device will be cross-platform compatible (for PC and Mac), and the designers want to extend the communication layer to include Bluetooth and WIFI devices for hands-free operation. The possibilities for this second, emergent generation of telepresent sex toys are endless and spectacular.The Sinulator (www.sinulate.com), for example, is a sign of things to come. It has a space-age physical interface that evokes images of Dr. Frankenstein creating a sex toy: a children's driving toy crossed with a garish misconception of sexuality. Using a flight-simulator-like Flash interface, the "pilot" in the "cockpit" remotely controls a Rabbit Habit vibrator in a variety of ways while watching the effects on a webcam. The controls are: throttle (rotate); slider (vibrate) and three buttons that execute combined rotation and vibration programs. Sights and sounds are the rewards for a successful mission. Other sex toys, including an Interactive Fleshlight for men, can also be used with the Sinulator.All a Sinulator pilot needs to play this particular "video game" is access to the Internet. The controls will work on just about anything (Mac, PC, Linux, Palm, WebTV, airport kiosk, etc.). And, of course, the manufacturers have built their own community site (www.sinulatorcams.com) so users of their products can connect online.
None of this, unfortunately, comes even close to simulating the sensations of wet tongues, soft fingers, skin against skin or a warm body in the morning. But if anybody can make this happen, it's the open source movement. After all, who needs to get laid more than Linux users?
"The concept of [cyberdildonics] is something that sounds great," says Cory Silverberg, principal buyer for Toronto sex shop Come As You Are, "but the reality so far has been pretty disappointing. We don't carry anything that's marketed as tied with teledildonics, because all the products out there are horrible."
Girls and Boys who wanted cyberdildonic insertables were sold products that (on the other end) plugged into their computer's USB port for power, but for the most part weren't actually interactive (from a multi-user perspective). The few devices which did allow remote interactivity accepted simple vibrator commands (on/off & a speed control) through a crude web interface. Participants wanting a more stimulating experience going or coming over the wires needed to add webcams - and many did. Once the basic devices were available, many people with toys started seeking drivers and many drivers started seeking people with toys.
The Internet Friends Network (www.ifriends.com) started up to connect these people with other "friends" around the world, and that's when critical mass was reached. As more people acquired cameras and toys, and others acquired the desire to control these devices, the community and the demand grew quickly. That, in turn, has brought about the next logical force of 21st-century technical development: The Open Source Movement.
Open Dildonics (www.opendildonics.org/) is a recently-launched open-source group that plans to develop and provide software and hardware schematics free of charge, allowing the general public to construct and run their own Cyberdildonics equipment.
Its current focus is the development of a working prototype to be controlled both locally and remotely via a computer's parallel port. The device will be cross-platform compatible (for PC and Mac), and the designers want to extend the communication layer to include Bluetooth and WIFI devices for hands-free operation. The possibilities for this second, emergent generation of telepresent sex toys are endless and spectacular.The Sinulator (www.sinulate.com), for example, is a sign of things to come. It has a space-age physical interface that evokes images of Dr. Frankenstein creating a sex toy: a children's driving toy crossed with a garish misconception of sexuality. Using a flight-simulator-like Flash interface, the "pilot" in the "cockpit" remotely controls a Rabbit Habit vibrator in a variety of ways while watching the effects on a webcam. The controls are: throttle (rotate); slider (vibrate) and three buttons that execute combined rotation and vibration programs. Sights and sounds are the rewards for a successful mission. Other sex toys, including an Interactive Fleshlight for men, can also be used with the Sinulator.All a Sinulator pilot needs to play this particular "video game" is access to the Internet. The controls will work on just about anything (Mac, PC, Linux, Palm, WebTV, airport kiosk, etc.). And, of course, the manufacturers have built their own community site (www.sinulatorcams.com) so users of their products can connect online.
None of this, unfortunately, comes even close to simulating the sensations of wet tongues, soft fingers, skin against skin or a warm body in the morning. But if anybody can make this happen, it's the open source movement. After all, who needs to get laid more than Linux users?
"The concept of [cyberdildonics] is something that sounds great," says Cory Silverberg, principal buyer for Toronto sex shop Come As You Are, "but the reality so far has been pretty disappointing. We don't carry anything that's marketed as tied with teledildonics, because all the products out there are horrible."
Women in a loving relationship aren't as conscious of penis size as men.
JUST about every man would like his penis to be that extra inch or so bigger.
Men have always tended to eye each other up nervously when they get the opportunity but the anxieties have probably got worse now that Internet pornography and sex videos are so much more widely available. The men in those are specially selected just because they are exceptionally large, and so blokes get the feeling that is the norm when actually it is abnormal. That said, though, a very few men do have cause for concern because they never developed properly. Statistics for penis size vary but the latest reliable research is that the greater proportion of penises are usually around 5 cm/2 inches long when soft and range from 11.5 cm/4.6 inches to 15cm/nearly 6 inches when erect, with the average being 13 cm/5.2 inches – about the size of a large tube of toothpaste, as someone pointed out. You shouldn't feel too bad if you notice that other men seem much larger than you when you see them in the showers or changing rooms. For one thing, willies do tend to average out in size when it matters - that is erect - and you should bear in mind that, when you see other men's tackle, you're seeing them from a different angle - you're looking across at theirs and down at your own, which has a foreshortening effect.
And don't forget that your penis is very clever, and shrinks upwards and presses itself close up against the body for warmth and safety when you're anxious or cold - as in that changing room. You will probably get a more cheering view of your equipment if you try looking at yourself, when you're warm and relaxed at home, in a full-length mirror, which is how others see you. Even if you do still worry you're on the small side, it really won't spoil your love life - or your partner's satisfaction. Women in a loving relationship aren't as conscious of penis size as men. In fact, too large a penis causes women far more serious concerns than a small one. When I do hear from men who say women have laughed at the size of their penis, in almost every case it is because they were having casual sex with women who barely knew them, and certainly weren’t in love with them. Casual sex is all about judging each other by physique and performance, not intensity of feelings - nor even quality of sex. What really makes a good lover isn't size below the belt but how sensitive and sensuous, informed and imaginative you are. Your hands, mouth and whole body matter as much if not more than your penis, and women get the most exciting sensations, not through the vagina itself but through the clitoris, which you stimulate with your hands, mouth or groin, not your penis. If your partner complains of lack of sensation, it may well be that she has a problem, nothing to do with your anatomy. In which case, suggest she write to me and I'll help her sort it out. If it is your loving that is at fault, then it's not that you need to grow an extra inch but that you need to develop more skills and sensitivity as a lover. Choose deep-penetration positions or those where the vagina is “closed off” a bit. Go for entering from behind, or her on top but leaning backwards – anything which alters the slant of the vagina will make you feel larger to her and increase sensation. In the missionary position, put a pillow under her bottom and suggest she keep her thighs pressed close together with your legs outside hers. Thrust hard and deep – though check with her before and after to make sure she’s enjoying the sensation. If you tend to climax quickly, masturbate often. All penises have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the head. If yours is small, this means it’s going to be more sensitive. The more you masturbate the less sensitive you’ll become, and so less liable to suffer from premature ejaculation, especially if you practice controlling your climax while you’re doing it – explained in more detail in my leaflet on Self-help for Premature Ejaculation. Go for variety. If you’ve made her orgasm through oral sex, masturbation and given her a wonderful sensual massage, you take the main focus off intercourse, which eases the pressure for both of you. Most women find it difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so she’ll be happy with the change in emphasis.
If you're still worried, you may wonder about pills, creams and gadgets which are advertised to boost penis size. Basically, none of them work in any significant and permanent way.
At best you can waste a lot of time and money. At worst, you could even damage yourself. The vast majority of men are best advised to accept themselves as they are.
Your penis is just one, very human, part of you. Learn to love it.
Men have always tended to eye each other up nervously when they get the opportunity but the anxieties have probably got worse now that Internet pornography and sex videos are so much more widely available. The men in those are specially selected just because they are exceptionally large, and so blokes get the feeling that is the norm when actually it is abnormal. That said, though, a very few men do have cause for concern because they never developed properly. Statistics for penis size vary but the latest reliable research is that the greater proportion of penises are usually around 5 cm/2 inches long when soft and range from 11.5 cm/4.6 inches to 15cm/nearly 6 inches when erect, with the average being 13 cm/5.2 inches – about the size of a large tube of toothpaste, as someone pointed out. You shouldn't feel too bad if you notice that other men seem much larger than you when you see them in the showers or changing rooms. For one thing, willies do tend to average out in size when it matters - that is erect - and you should bear in mind that, when you see other men's tackle, you're seeing them from a different angle - you're looking across at theirs and down at your own, which has a foreshortening effect.
And don't forget that your penis is very clever, and shrinks upwards and presses itself close up against the body for warmth and safety when you're anxious or cold - as in that changing room. You will probably get a more cheering view of your equipment if you try looking at yourself, when you're warm and relaxed at home, in a full-length mirror, which is how others see you. Even if you do still worry you're on the small side, it really won't spoil your love life - or your partner's satisfaction. Women in a loving relationship aren't as conscious of penis size as men. In fact, too large a penis causes women far more serious concerns than a small one. When I do hear from men who say women have laughed at the size of their penis, in almost every case it is because they were having casual sex with women who barely knew them, and certainly weren’t in love with them. Casual sex is all about judging each other by physique and performance, not intensity of feelings - nor even quality of sex. What really makes a good lover isn't size below the belt but how sensitive and sensuous, informed and imaginative you are. Your hands, mouth and whole body matter as much if not more than your penis, and women get the most exciting sensations, not through the vagina itself but through the clitoris, which you stimulate with your hands, mouth or groin, not your penis. If your partner complains of lack of sensation, it may well be that she has a problem, nothing to do with your anatomy. In which case, suggest she write to me and I'll help her sort it out. If it is your loving that is at fault, then it's not that you need to grow an extra inch but that you need to develop more skills and sensitivity as a lover. Choose deep-penetration positions or those where the vagina is “closed off” a bit. Go for entering from behind, or her on top but leaning backwards – anything which alters the slant of the vagina will make you feel larger to her and increase sensation. In the missionary position, put a pillow under her bottom and suggest she keep her thighs pressed close together with your legs outside hers. Thrust hard and deep – though check with her before and after to make sure she’s enjoying the sensation. If you tend to climax quickly, masturbate often. All penises have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the head. If yours is small, this means it’s going to be more sensitive. The more you masturbate the less sensitive you’ll become, and so less liable to suffer from premature ejaculation, especially if you practice controlling your climax while you’re doing it – explained in more detail in my leaflet on Self-help for Premature Ejaculation. Go for variety. If you’ve made her orgasm through oral sex, masturbation and given her a wonderful sensual massage, you take the main focus off intercourse, which eases the pressure for both of you. Most women find it difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so she’ll be happy with the change in emphasis.
If you're still worried, you may wonder about pills, creams and gadgets which are advertised to boost penis size. Basically, none of them work in any significant and permanent way.
At best you can waste a lot of time and money. At worst, you could even damage yourself. The vast majority of men are best advised to accept themselves as they are.
Your penis is just one, very human, part of you. Learn to love it.
Sex and the Internet were top 10 choices for women to make them happy
“Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful interactions with others,”
Sex and the Internet were top 10 choices for women to make them happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher. Eating comfort food scored in the top 10 for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred great food and wine or drinking with friends to reaching for the chocolate. Despite the notion, shopping does not make all women happy - only 30 per cent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories, the study found. One in two women said reading a good book made them happy whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 per cent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a miserly 19 per cent of men.
The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge who spoke to more than 8500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.
Sex and the Internet were top 10 choices for women to make them happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher. Eating comfort food scored in the top 10 for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred great food and wine or drinking with friends to reaching for the chocolate. Despite the notion, shopping does not make all women happy - only 30 per cent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories, the study found. One in two women said reading a good book made them happy whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 per cent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a miserly 19 per cent of men.
The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge who spoke to more than 8500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.
Young female virgins are increasingly turning to male prostitutes for a "clinical" way of dealing with their first sexual experience
Young female virgins are increasingly turning to male prostitutes for a "clinical" way of dealing with their first sexual experience, Australian sex industry workers have revealed to ninemsn. The women, mainly aged in their late teens to early 20s, are paying upwards of $250 per hour for male "escorts" to deflower them. Global Escorts owner and founder Berney told ninemsn his Melbourne agency had noticed an increase in the number of female virgins seeking their escort services over the last five years. "They're younger ladies who tell us they're virgins … they want to do it gently and clinically," he said.
new study has revealed that fat ladies have more sex than females with "normal weight”.
New study has revealed that fat ladies have more sex than females with "normal weight”.
Oregon and Hawaiian researchers have found that a woman’s weight does not seem to affect sexual behaviour. Led by Dr Bliss Kaneshiro, an assistant professor at the School of Medicine at the University of Hawaii, and Oregon State University professor Marie Harvey, the study was based on data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth that looked at sexual behaviour of more than 7,000 women.
In earlier studies it was Kaneshiro observed that obese and overweight women have a higher risk of unintended pregnancy than do normal weight women.
Oregon and Hawaiian researchers have found that a woman’s weight does not seem to affect sexual behaviour. Led by Dr Bliss Kaneshiro, an assistant professor at the School of Medicine at the University of Hawaii, and Oregon State University professor Marie Harvey, the study was based on data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth that looked at sexual behaviour of more than 7,000 women.
In earlier studies it was Kaneshiro observed that obese and overweight women have a higher risk of unintended pregnancy than do normal weight women.
What's the Sex in the City Festival?
Sex in the City Festival, which takes place Saturday, Nov. 15, at 7:30 p. m. at the Blind Beggar (106-5211 Macleod Trail SW). Centre Stage caught up with Lane Friday.
Q: What's the Sex in the City Festival?
A: The Sex in the City Festival is a big celebration of women and raunch. What's going to happen is that the doors (at the Blind Beggar) open (at 7:30 p. m.), and every woman gets to pick her own stripper name. And (then), they're going to wear that for the rest of the night, so they become that person, so they don't have to be themselves. We're going to premiere a one-woman show called They're Just Not That Into Me, about being single in Calgary, and then after that, we're premiering a mockumentary film called No Sex in the City, that was filmed here in Calgary. After that, (playwright and actor) Carrie Schiffler is going to come up on the stage. She runs Dance4Play, and she's going to teach all the women how to exotic dance. We also have sex toy booths and different trade show booths going on throughout the night, so people can purchase different sex toys and erotic things and also, if the women want, they can have their own stripper photo done.
Q: What's the Sex in the City Festival?
A: The Sex in the City Festival is a big celebration of women and raunch. What's going to happen is that the doors (at the Blind Beggar) open (at 7:30 p. m.), and every woman gets to pick her own stripper name. And (then), they're going to wear that for the rest of the night, so they become that person, so they don't have to be themselves. We're going to premiere a one-woman show called They're Just Not That Into Me, about being single in Calgary, and then after that, we're premiering a mockumentary film called No Sex in the City, that was filmed here in Calgary. After that, (playwright and actor) Carrie Schiffler is going to come up on the stage. She runs Dance4Play, and she's going to teach all the women how to exotic dance. We also have sex toy booths and different trade show booths going on throughout the night, so people can purchase different sex toys and erotic things and also, if the women want, they can have their own stripper photo done.
There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams.
There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams. But how long can these work in place of the real thing? As sexual beings we need physical contact. We can’t depend on masturbating to web images of the person we love for months at a time and not crave some genuine personal contact. Touch is an extremely important element in human relationships. Plus, phone sex can be really awkward. I tried having phone sex with a friend once when I was 14 and it was both weird and hilarious. “Weird” and “hilarious” are not words that should be associated with anything sexual, unless that’s what you’re going for. Webcams can be weird too. Watching yourself on camera can be strange and impersonal. In fact, it can be downright uncomfortable for some people. When two people live in the same place there are basic worries about temptation and cheating, so living away from your significant other, never really knowing what they’re doing, only adds more to that paranoia and stress. Plus, not being around your boyfriend or girlfriend for long periods of time can often give your eyes time to wander. Your significant other isn’t here, but this other really great person is. What do you do? Are long distance relationships really worth all the stress? It depends on the state of the relationship to begin with. So far I’ve been heavily bashing long distance relationships, but if you find someone you really love then I guess it's natural to want to make it work regardless of where they go. If you are set on making your long distance relationship work, both parties definitely have to put in a lot of effort and set guidelines. First, make sure you and your boyfriend /girlfriend are on the same page about the Facebook status of your relationship. Is it open, dating, serious, engaged, complicated? Make sure you both understand how the other feels about the commitment level of the relationship.
Make sure you talk to your number one everyday, in some way. Whether it’s a long phone call, a chat on MSN Messenger, or a quick e-mail, try to keep in contact with them in order to maintain a sense of connectedness. Try to visit as much as you can.
Most importantly, know when it’s just not working. Break-ups are tough in any relationship, but can be especially hard in the long distance situation. When all your conversations become one-sided, arguments become frequent, and the entire relationship just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's probably time to re-evaluate. Being in a long distance relationship is a big commitment and can be emotionally trying. Before you enter into one, weigh the pros and cons and consider whether it’s something you, and your partner, are ready for.
Make sure you talk to your number one everyday, in some way. Whether it’s a long phone call, a chat on MSN Messenger, or a quick e-mail, try to keep in contact with them in order to maintain a sense of connectedness. Try to visit as much as you can.
Most importantly, know when it’s just not working. Break-ups are tough in any relationship, but can be especially hard in the long distance situation. When all your conversations become one-sided, arguments become frequent, and the entire relationship just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's probably time to re-evaluate. Being in a long distance relationship is a big commitment and can be emotionally trying. Before you enter into one, weigh the pros and cons and consider whether it’s something you, and your partner, are ready for.
CYBER SEX WARNING
An anonymous girl lets call her Jen, is a junior in college attending school in Colorado, like all college students, she is wrapped up in the partying and the wildness college life has to offer. Jen being the computer science major that she is does however have a lot of work to do on her computer so when she's not out having a good time, she's working her but off designing computer programs and installing software. One day, soon after she had broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a Friday night for the first time in the three years they had been dating. She was sad alone and depressed, so she decided to make a new homepage. She was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a chat line, being the wild psycho she is she decided to get onto a sex line. So Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing around on it. Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as Jeremy, she started playing with him, she gave a false name, saying her name was "Katie" and started getting into detail about what she would like to do to him with her tongue. He responded by telling her to picture being naked while his hands ran over every square inch of her body. Soon they were having cybersex. This went on for awhile, and then she got off the line agreeing to meet him back on the line the following night. Saturday night rolls around, and Jen is on the line with Jeremy again, they become even closer this night, so they continue like this for a week. At the end of the week, they started talking about other things, and got into very intimate issues and feelings. They became close, exchanging their lives, Jen didn't tell Jeremy she was in college, because she was afraid of sounding like an immature college girl. She felt guilty, but after a few weeks, she really liked this guy.
This went on the two of them like this for months, and months turned into a year. By the end of the year they had exchanged the most intimate thoughts, and yet had never even spoken on the phone. They were afraid of ruining the mystery. They had done everything sexually possible over the net, they were affectionate as well, waiting for the day that they could some day be together. They finally decided they had had enough. They wanted to meet each other, they were in love and they had to meet. They didn't care about age or looks or anything but each other. Jeremy told Jen he thought she could be his next wife. Jen was weary at first but decided she didn't care how old he was or how ugly she loved him, he was the only one she could feel comfortable with. so...they planned a trip to meet in Vail, Colorado. They were going to spend the weekend together and finally meet. Jen didn't want the hassle of having to find him, so she said, why don't you just get the room and we'll meet in the room that way there will be no mistake. Jeremy agreed. Jen showed up at the resort first, and checked into the room telling the desk lady to hold the key for the next party, so she went into the room. She wanted things to be special so she lit some candles, put on some music. She stripped naked and climbed into the bed under the covers, deciding to surprise Jeremy when he got there. The time soon came, the lights were out, the mood was right, and she heard a key in the door. She heard someone walk in and around the corner and she whispered, "Jeremy". Jeremy said, "Katie?" (this was the false name she had given him.) Yes she said, so he fumbled for the light, and turned it on to see Jen on the bed naked before him. Then next thing heard around the world were two blood curling screams. Jen covered herself up, and with her most humiliating voice said, "dad?" and Jeremy said, "JEN!!!"
This went on the two of them like this for months, and months turned into a year. By the end of the year they had exchanged the most intimate thoughts, and yet had never even spoken on the phone. They were afraid of ruining the mystery. They had done everything sexually possible over the net, they were affectionate as well, waiting for the day that they could some day be together. They finally decided they had had enough. They wanted to meet each other, they were in love and they had to meet. They didn't care about age or looks or anything but each other. Jeremy told Jen he thought she could be his next wife. Jen was weary at first but decided she didn't care how old he was or how ugly she loved him, he was the only one she could feel comfortable with. so...they planned a trip to meet in Vail, Colorado. They were going to spend the weekend together and finally meet. Jen didn't want the hassle of having to find him, so she said, why don't you just get the room and we'll meet in the room that way there will be no mistake. Jeremy agreed. Jen showed up at the resort first, and checked into the room telling the desk lady to hold the key for the next party, so she went into the room. She wanted things to be special so she lit some candles, put on some music. She stripped naked and climbed into the bed under the covers, deciding to surprise Jeremy when he got there. The time soon came, the lights were out, the mood was right, and she heard a key in the door. She heard someone walk in and around the corner and she whispered, "Jeremy". Jeremy said, "Katie?" (this was the false name she had given him.) Yes she said, so he fumbled for the light, and turned it on to see Jen on the bed naked before him. Then next thing heard around the world were two blood curling screams. Jen covered herself up, and with her most humiliating voice said, "dad?" and Jeremy said, "JEN!!!"
Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildoniclovers are going at it day and night — whenever they’ve recovered from the last realistic virtual sex romp.
lovers are going at it day and night — whenever they’ve recovered from the last realistic virtual sex romp. Whether a mile down the road or completely across the globe, lovers are delighting in the Internet’s version of sexual intimacy, which seems to know no end.Long-distance relationships used to be such a drag. While nothing can replace the joys of real human touch, technology is making it a lot easier — and racier — to love from afar. Tech sex can keep you pining for each other and ready for action at a moment’s notice, and quite literally at that.
Heated sex play used to consist of shooting instant messages to one another, piquing one another's interest in chatrooms or wooing each other in online interactive worlds. Suddenly, Internet-enabled sex toys are all the rage.Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildonics, combines sex with telepresence (the experience of being “present” in a real-time, real-world situation regardless of where you’re physically located). This realistic virtual sex involves sex toys that can be controlled for your pleasure via your computer over the World Wide Web. All you have to do is download the sex toy’s software, then plug the device into your computer, and you’re in business.Lovers can then log onto the ‘net and relish in controlling each other’s toys remotely. This typically involves controlling the vibrations of faux genitalia. A popular combination of this is the Interactive Fleshlight and Sinulator.The Interactive Fleshlight is a sleeve (for the guys) that is compatible with the name brand Sinulator wireless vibrator. The Sinulator connects to any Windows computer with an Internet connection. While the male plays with the Fleshlight, vibrations are sent through the Sinulator to his female counterpart.
These products, as well as similar devices, also contain gadgets that allow lovers to adjust the virtual sex to a rhythm of their liking. Really tech-savvy partners may want to go all out, hooking up their Webcams or using instant messaging to add an audio component.Adventurous lovers are finding that tech sex is changing their relationships for the better. This mode of sex is great in that:
It enables lovers to stay in touch with the objects of their affection, as in practically in touch.Online sex communication makes in-person, offline sex talks that much easier.
People are exploring new sexual frontiers, piquing each other’s interest as they amp up their sexual fantasies and erotic stories as never before.
Now, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that such sex play is not everyone’s cup of tea. I can appreciate its benefits, but I'm a slave to my computer. Getting me in the mood involves getting me away from my PC. Luckily, for those of us up for technological inspirations of a different sort, there are other options.
Your cell phone can offer you more than the buzz of its vibrating ring option. Vibrators are now available that work wirelessly with your cell phone. When you call your lover, or vice versa, the vibrator is activated, triggering a patterned, vibrating sequence for the duration of your conversation.
Other cell phone vibrators depend on text messaging. Sex partners can engage in some solo pleasuring, titillating each other with scintillating IMs. Lovers wear the wireless, bullet vibrator over their favorite hot spots. The gadget is activated when you receive a text message.While some of these devices may seem a bit far out, they can be well worth your “sexperimentation,” taking you beyond the physical and virtual. Given the amount of intimacy people share, Internet sex enthusiasts claim it can be quite the emotional and mental experience.Who knows? You may find yourself aroused as you’ve never known before.
Heated sex play used to consist of shooting instant messages to one another, piquing one another's interest in chatrooms or wooing each other in online interactive worlds. Suddenly, Internet-enabled sex toys are all the rage.Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildonics, combines sex with telepresence (the experience of being “present” in a real-time, real-world situation regardless of where you’re physically located). This realistic virtual sex involves sex toys that can be controlled for your pleasure via your computer over the World Wide Web. All you have to do is download the sex toy’s software, then plug the device into your computer, and you’re in business.Lovers can then log onto the ‘net and relish in controlling each other’s toys remotely. This typically involves controlling the vibrations of faux genitalia. A popular combination of this is the Interactive Fleshlight and Sinulator.The Interactive Fleshlight is a sleeve (for the guys) that is compatible with the name brand Sinulator wireless vibrator. The Sinulator connects to any Windows computer with an Internet connection. While the male plays with the Fleshlight, vibrations are sent through the Sinulator to his female counterpart.
These products, as well as similar devices, also contain gadgets that allow lovers to adjust the virtual sex to a rhythm of their liking. Really tech-savvy partners may want to go all out, hooking up their Webcams or using instant messaging to add an audio component.Adventurous lovers are finding that tech sex is changing their relationships for the better. This mode of sex is great in that:
It enables lovers to stay in touch with the objects of their affection, as in practically in touch.Online sex communication makes in-person, offline sex talks that much easier.
People are exploring new sexual frontiers, piquing each other’s interest as they amp up their sexual fantasies and erotic stories as never before.
Now, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that such sex play is not everyone’s cup of tea. I can appreciate its benefits, but I'm a slave to my computer. Getting me in the mood involves getting me away from my PC. Luckily, for those of us up for technological inspirations of a different sort, there are other options.
Your cell phone can offer you more than the buzz of its vibrating ring option. Vibrators are now available that work wirelessly with your cell phone. When you call your lover, or vice versa, the vibrator is activated, triggering a patterned, vibrating sequence for the duration of your conversation.
Other cell phone vibrators depend on text messaging. Sex partners can engage in some solo pleasuring, titillating each other with scintillating IMs. Lovers wear the wireless, bullet vibrator over their favorite hot spots. The gadget is activated when you receive a text message.While some of these devices may seem a bit far out, they can be well worth your “sexperimentation,” taking you beyond the physical and virtual. Given the amount of intimacy people share, Internet sex enthusiasts claim it can be quite the emotional and mental experience.Who knows? You may find yourself aroused as you’ve never known before.
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