Friday 14 November 2008

There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams.

There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams. But how long can these work in place of the real thing? As sexual beings we need physical contact. We can’t depend on masturbating to web images of the person we love for months at a time and not crave some genuine personal contact. Touch is an extremely important element in human relationships. Plus, phone sex can be really awkward. I tried having phone sex with a friend once when I was 14 and it was both weird and hilarious. “Weird” and “hilarious” are not words that should be associated with anything sexual, unless that’s what you’re going for. Webcams can be weird too. Watching yourself on camera can be strange and impersonal. In fact, it can be downright uncomfortable for some people. When two people live in the same place there are basic worries about temptation and cheating, so living away from your significant other, never really knowing what they’re doing, only adds more to that paranoia and stress. Plus, not being around your boyfriend or girlfriend for long periods of time can often give your eyes time to wander. Your significant other isn’t here, but this other really great person is. What do you do? Are long distance relationships really worth all the stress? It depends on the state of the relationship to begin with. So far I’ve been heavily bashing long distance relationships, but if you find someone you really love then I guess it's natural to want to make it work regardless of where they go. If you are set on making your long distance relationship work, both parties definitely have to put in a lot of effort and set guidelines. First, make sure you and your boyfriend /girlfriend are on the same page about the Facebook status of your relationship. Is it open, dating, serious, engaged, complicated? Make sure you both understand how the other feels about the commitment level of the relationship.
Make sure you talk to your number one everyday, in some way. Whether it’s a long phone call, a chat on MSN Messenger, or a quick e-mail, try to keep in contact with them in order to maintain a sense of connectedness. Try to visit as much as you can.
Most importantly, know when it’s just not working. Break-ups are tough in any relationship, but can be especially hard in the long distance situation. When all your conversations become one-sided, arguments become frequent, and the entire relationship just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's probably time to re-evaluate. Being in a long distance relationship is a big commitment and can be emotionally trying. Before you enter into one, weigh the pros and cons and consider whether it’s something you, and your partner, are ready for.

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